How to react to DS7 shoving/threats

[hazelnutvanillalatte]

He is a really nice boy generally and there have been no changes at home or school, but it has happened a few times now. He will refuse to do something (ex brush his teeth) and shove me and lift up something like a chair, and say 'I'm going to smash your face in' or 'I'm going to destroy the house.' He hasn't done anything, but he has gotten further and further to the point I'm worried at some point he will cause harm. I have no idea where he could have gotten this.

I tell him that's unacceptable and he will have timeout etc. Then he usually bursts into tears and runs into his room until he's calm but is still verbally angry ('leave me alone, I hate you.')

How to react? Consequences and strictness worked when younger but not now.

It sounds like he is feeling angry but doesnt know how to handle the anger, and it ends up scaring him. Have a look on Amazon or at your local library for books on helping small dc manager their emotions (if he is struggling with anger he might also be struggling with fear and excitement soon) There are some great resources out there.

BUT hold the line on unacceptable behavior at the same time, do it calmly and matter of factly but dont let him come to the conclusion that talking like this is fine and no problem

He isn't a nice boy coming out with stuff like that. Making those threats when all you are trying to do is get him to brush his teeth... Imagine what it could be like in five or so years time when he is bigger, stronger and you are asking him to do something or saying he can't have something. You are right to be worried :/

Anger alone is part and parcel of life, it happens and everyone gets angry at times and can have an outburst. These sort of threats though are not acceptable in any way.

More severe consequences until it stops.