Feel like I’m constantly drowning with 3 kids - does it get easier?

[C0l3tt]

Hi there, as the title suggests I’m suddenly finding parenting 3 children so incredibly difficult. They are aged 5, 2 and 5 months old. Suddenly over the last 3/4 weeks things seem to just be so hard, like I seriously feel like I’m drowning.

We try so hard to live minimalistic and as organised as possible. Everybody always has outfits ready for the next day, middle child has a nap bang on the same time every day, we juggle our days around school runs, try and go to soft plays and visit family members/friends at least a couple of times a week. We leave big days out for the weekend when my partner is off work as it’s massively easier.

Anyway, just lately they all seem completely against me. I feel like I’ve lost my way a little and struggling hugely. Neither the 2 eldest eat much, their diets have suddenly become massively restricted and I haven’t a clue why. 2 year old is having a spell of saying no to absolutely everything and random moments of disliking his older brother. Not to mention he is SUPER clingy and as lovely as it is that he completely adores me, I feel like I’m one more ‘mommy mommy mommy’ away from a mental breakdown some days 🥴

Does it really feel like this for other people? I see other families going abroad on holiday with 3+ children, my own parents did it tbh as I am 1 of 4 but I really can’t imagine anything worse right now. I want to be the best version of myself for them all but I feel like all I’m doing is snapping constantly. They have too much screen time and eat too many snacks. It’s obviously harder with the 5 month old as she’s breastfed.

Please can anybody share positive stories?

You sound like you're doing a brilliant job,
It's one of the biggest cons of parenthood, just when you think you know what you're dojng the goalposts change...
that's what happened here, your kids are just moving into a new phase
You will work it out again
,,

Mum if 3 here, it gets massively easier, in fact it’s a joy and far less of a slog! My youngest is now 8 but I remember being where you are. Lower your standards, feed them as healthily as possible, don’t worry too much meal to meal. Don’t worry if nap time is not on the dot. Try and relax a bit more, you will not always be the best version of yourself, nowhere near. You sound like you’re doing a great job. It’s hard but it does get easier

Unfortunately, just as you think you have everything sussed, they decide to throw a spanner in the works!

Honestly it does get better. Not everyone will agree but I think children get better and better as they get older.

Hi, another mum of 3 here. I still think that sounds weird when I write it, and I almost don’t believe that I am 😆
Mine are 4 , 13 and 15. So very different to your set up. I didn’t have the 3 little ones like you do.

You seriously need to give yourself some credit though, it sounds like you’re doing a good job.

Your youngest is only 5 months, that’s can be a hard age. And actually I’d say all 3 of yours are currently at possibly challenging ages! So cut some slack to yourself about the screen time/snacks. Don’t allow it to take over though, my 4yr old is a bit awkward these days if she has watched too much tv. And make the snacks healthy ish, so that they’re having something decent. Sometimes young kids will eat meals that look like snacks more than meals…

Do you get much evening time to yourself?

I feel like there’s not much anyone can say except that we’ve all been there. When you want to scream or run away!

I found that if I listened to a podcast while at home, sometimes that sort of took me away from the situation enough to feel less stressed. Like One headphone in! Or a speaker on the kitchen windowsill while prepping food. I liked to feel like more than just a mum.

You’re at a point where it actually couldn’t be harder (unless the youngest had been twins I suppose). You’re also sleep deprived I assume? My three are 12, 9 and 7 and life is great. Things will get easier but if you feel like you are drowning you need to carve out ways to cope: more sleep or more childcare or lower standards or something. Don’t just struggle on until you break.

Just to add that even in 6 months things will be easier. Breastfeeding over, 2 year possibly starting to get more reasonable and nearly eligible for pre-school? Hang in there, you’re doing brilliantly. Remember that it’s about being good enough not being perfect.

Mine are 5,3 and 1. I feel your pain especially about the clinginess. Try and take it easy - you have a 5 month old! I'm slowly seeing it get easier as they get older. Once your older two start playing together that will really help. Also on the weekends don't be afraid to split up. One of you can take the older two out and one of you stay at home with baby (hopefully he will nap for a few hours and give you a break). Try not to stress too much by next Christmas you will be in a whole new phase. You are doing a good job 👍🏽 feeling overwhelmed happens to all mothers sometimes. Do you have a job? Once I went back to work (part time) I was much happier and my children were happier too.

Hey you have a 5 month old and it's January everything can feel like such a drag. You sound like you are doing a great job don't feel like you are not. I had 3 and everything felt a bit more chaotic like the scales had unbalanced it goes so fast though even though you feel like it doesn't at the time. Try to be kind to yourself. I do remember my ironing pile falling down once and blocking my youngest in my bedroom luckily it was a bungalow and I climbed through the window to move it.💐