Play dates - I feel like a shy kid in the playground myself again!

[HangryBeaker]

Hoping for some guidance on playdates I guess. We moved areas recently and my eldest DC (5) was quite unsettled by the move. Now with the first term of school done, I want to try and be a bit more proactive purely for DC sake. A lot of the families know each other from nursery in the area. I think my child could be ND although it's hard to say as the move as I say did cause some problems for the first year. If so it will be high functioning, language is absolutely no concern, drawing and fine motor in general seems a bit behind and I pick up that there is some social anxiety and perhaps lack of ease in social situations. And perhaps some other minor cues. But no assessment yet, school haven't said anything yet, etc.

Are play dates important? (there are younger siblings and other children in our lives anyway, but not many of my eldest's age). I get the feeling that a lot of the school kids see each other loads out of school and that we can't easily infiltrate this set up. I am worried that DC is lonely and isolated at school as a result but am I forcing it if I start arranging things or is this how people do it?

Are 1-1 play dates better? Or should I try and get a few people together?
Should I host or is it easier to go out somewhere?
At what age do they start going to PD without the parents?

Argh, I'm a social person but something about the responsibility of hosting other children with their parents feels quite intimidating!

I think j worth similar a few years ago OP!!! My child now in yr 2. I got this feeling but actually was totally wrong, turns out by the time everyone finished school esp in reception and working parents it was basically home because kids were knackered (there than a few that we friends beforehand i.e family friends or friends before nursery/school). I organised a playdate with another child and their parent and it was lovely but nothing came of it really and the kids just play with various different people anyway!

There were lots of whole class parties and tbh they were the best way of the kids socialising, then after school clubs/scouts/football etc started in Y1 and this brought another layer of socialising, now in yr two the kids are only just starting to really forge friendship groups also to speak and the first lot of 'coming for tea' after school invites. But again, the kids are generally busy with clubs etc and working parents that school nights are just tricky.

In alm honesty basically I wish I'd just left it to naturally happen instead of feeling I needed to orchestrate it in reception, they will be friends with who they want to be friends with in the end. If your worried re ND then speak to teacher around his friendships/playing at play time etc and they will let you know if there's any concerns - however sounds to me like he's just bedding in!! Some kids just aren't the life and soul, there's certainly a whole mix of personality types in my child's class. My child also didn't go to the schools nursery and I would say for a confident and social child he struggled with a big class of children for about the first 6months, preferring the teaching staff. Now there's no issues at all so time will be a good tell aswell as feedback from teachers.

I get that. I'm not an outgoing person but I don't think we were invited for a playdate before I started reaching out to parents myself. I just thought that it's something that I wanted to do and I did it. I was nervous, and still am with some more than others when I want to suggest a playdate but I do it anyway and it always turns out well.

People are busy and as you say, they'll have groups from nursery (this is common, we felt the same when we joined) so they may just get stuck in their comfort zones. I think the playdates have helped our kids settle in to school. It's helped us too as parents to get to know the kids and parents in their class.