Hi,
I posted on here a week or so ago, I'm back again as I appreciate the opinions.
So my son went to dad's, nans house (son stays at nans house when visiting dad)
When he came home had the usual discussion, did you have fun, what did you do? He said he had fun, played with toys, went soft play and then went in nanny's car shopping, nanny's black car.
Just to confirm I haven't a problem with nan talking him shopping, but I know she hasn't got a car seat/booster for him.
I asked my ex (as my son said daddy didn't come, daddy was at home) it was nanny, grandad and puppy (the dog) he ignored me for a day before the conversation went like this
"Your mum hasn't got a car seat for Louis?
No, but he gets in Ubers so what's the problem?
Private taxis have different regulations/licence can you ensure you buy a booster seat please otherwise not allowed in the car.
He was on my lap, I did go and it wasn't shopping we went to the shops at 8.30 at night because he wouldn't go to sleep"
I bit my tongue at the last statement as I knew it wouldn't do me any favours to answer anymore, just sent him a link to booster seats and said "please buy one before son travels in car"
I reckon there was at least 2 occasions where he was in the car, luckily nothing happened.
My son goes nursery 3 days a week, been in the same nursery since 11 months. He didn't want to go to nursery this morning and when I asked why he told me that another girl was pushing him yesterday, I told him I'd speak with his teachers this morning before I go to work - which I did and we both told my son to tell them if she does it again today, and to tell her "no thank you, please don't push me" they usually play nicely together they have been in the nursery together from pretty much the same time.
My ex messaged me this morning confirming weekend times, asked how he was so I told him he was upset but all sorted now, his reply to me was "I'm going to tell him to hit her"
Obviously I was horrified at suggesting a 4 year old is encouraged to hit another 4 year old child - this might have happened and be said to us growing up in the 80s/90s but it's not how I want to raise my child. I suggested no, that's not the way forwards to encourage violence.
His father (PG) is abusive and not allowed contact with my ex's half sisters children (social services), I have asked my ex not to let his dad have contact with our son based on their findings, my solicitor has also said this is not unreasonable.
He has allowed contact with his dad (grandad is step grandad, his nans husband) his dad came round to visit at Christmas, I found out on Monday when my ex slipped up, again I felt like I couldn't say anything, I have asked him not to let this happen again.
How do I manage everything, am I being over the top with things - I don't want to stop contact but I know I'm going to have issues over and over.
I don't think he would ever put him intentionally in harms reach, but he just doesn't think at times.