Etiquette regarding toddlers Birthday parties

[User19122024]

Hello, sorry this is rather a mundane post but this is all new to me. Eldest is turning 3 later in the year, I want to arrange a proper party- village hall/ disco/ bouncy castle etc. What time of the day do parents prefer parties to be? I was aiming for afternoon 1-4pm on a Saturday. And what is the norm with inviting her friends from nursery? I have never met any of the parents of her friends, was just going to ask nursery to hand out a few invitations to her best friends. Any advice welcome, thank you 😊

I would do morning, some of her friends will likely still be napping so afternoon can be awkward timing.

Yes just ask nursery to hand out with your phone number on to RSVP.

Honestly, I think that's the worst time of day for a 3yo party. Many will still be napping, and the parents get to choose between skipping the party, or skipping the nap (so ending up with an overtired, over sugared toddler!). Not great.

Morning or even after 3/4pm would be much better IMO.

Ask for a list of children she enjoys and interacts with from nursery. 1 -4 is a bit long, you want to aim at 2 hours or they all get overwhelmed, birthday child included.

Oh I forgot about naps, mine never slept 😂

Good points, she hadn't napped since she turned 2 so I have probably overlooked this. How I long for those afternoon naps back 😂

I'd go morning. Maybe late morning so you can feed them (10-12) Two hours is plenty, especially as parents will be staying. At toddler age I'd not worry too much about organised games, they'll not manage much more than musical bumps. Just let them run about and bounce.

Oh agree with 2 hours. If you're not using entertainment then lots of balloons to kick about, and also do a corner with some quieter activities like colouring etc, maybe Duplo too.

I think most DC are better company in the mornings at that age too!

Also some nice bottles/cans of soft drinks for parents go down well, plus a bowl or two of crisps or similar for the adults.

When DD was that age, 10-12 or 11-1 would have been perfect. By the afternoon we were usually hitting mardy and tired prime time.

2 hours is the sweet spot, 1 hour of them running about, bouncing and getting hyped up, 30 minutes to eat, sing happy birthday, blow out the candles on the cake, then you have 30 minutes for them to do a bit more bouncing while you bag up cake, clear the tables, get the party bags ready and they start filtering out.

We invited about 30ish kids for the village hall bouncy castle type parties, they don't all attend and you want enough to cause chaos, make it clear that parents will be expected to stay on the invite. We had one parent who breezed in handed over their 3 yr old and legged it. Not ideal as you really don't want to be responsible for a near strangers toddler when you're hectic. Give an RSVP by date on the invite and include your mobile number and a request for details of any allergies.

We never put on any kind of actual entertainment or structured games at that age, they have the attention span of gnats and are way too excited to focus on anything. A bouncy castle and a load of balloons to kick around was plenty. We did one party at a leisure centre which as well as a bouncy castle included a few softplay blocks, mats and the rubber/foam animals they can sit on and bounce, they were popular.

Food wise, we kept it traditional kids party but went with fully vegetarian so we didn't have to police the ham sandwiches to stop the wrong kid eating them.

• jam or cheese sandwiches
• platter of assorted biscuits, good ones in kids eyes - party rings, chocolate fingers, jam n creams, iced gems
• melon slices and blueberries
• cucumber rounds and halved cherry tomatoes
• packets of crisps (cheap big box of assorted flavours)
• platter of assorted cupcakes, mini rolls, mr Kipling style cakes
• breadsticks/cheese straws

They won't eat a lot they just want to go back to playing and no parent should expect a healthy nutritious meal at a kids party.

If you have the capability in the location then you can make the parts available for parents to make themselves a tea or coffee but for your own sanity do not set yourself up making the drinks for them, you wont have time. If the facilities don't allow it then some nicer flavoured water or soft drinks and biscuits/cakes are a nice touch.

10-12 works very well and is pretty commonly done round here but I have to say I’m personally very fond of the 90 minute party, I did that for DD’s last one and others have done the same since. Parties are fun but for a lot of kids they’re exhausting! You want them to leave wanting more not crying or kicking off.

At nursery age I asked for a list of friends she played with and they put the invitations in bags. Give a date for rsvps!

Another suggestion is to make a quiet corner, there are always a couple of kids who won’t move off their parents laps to start with or get overwhelmed halfway through so a table of play dough or glitter tattoos or colouring in or a simple crap provides a quiet activity. Keep it cheap and cheerful.

10-12 or 3-5 for 3 year olds are popular here.

Having said that, we just went to a 3yr party that was 1-3 and it worked fine, but I think there were a few no shows, possibly because of napping.

90 minutes is plenty. It will literally take them about 10 minutes to eat. The first birthday party I had for DD was when she was 4 and I had mentally allocated 30 mins for food and think that I had visions of them making polite chit chat over their sandwiches and juice. As it was, they hoovered up the party rings and chocolate fingers and spilled their drinks whilst parents implored them to eat their sandwiches and reminded them of the veg sticks and races back to the bouncy castle to clash heads, accidentally hit each other and generally be in tears every few minutes. It was great success!

I preferred morning parties at that age because they're not getting tired and it also leaves the rest of the day free. Some parents prefer afternoon though because of things like swimming lessons happening on Saturday mornings. You're not going to please everyone.
I would advise a 2h party rather than 3h though, it's long enough at that age.
Invites you can just print some off without names on and ask nursery staff if they can put one in each child's bag. They don't need a specific name on them.

I'd go 11-1. Definitely do two hours

I'd do 10-12.

Not too early, but can still be home for naptime.

Two hours max. Parents will stay at that age so have some refreshments for them. Also be discreet with the invites. You've had advice about the time of day .

Make it over a meal time i recently did 11-1.30

Thanks all for the good advice 🙏