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Parenting

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Need advice on out of control teenager

3 replies

Singlemumfiles · 15/01/2025 08:51

I am looking for advice on a current situation I have. A almost 14 year old daughter since around age of 5 she has had extreme mood changes. This is also the age she was when I had my second child but since age 5 she has had rages,outbursts,uncontrollable behaviour can one second be the nicest kid and switch instantly towards me and family members. I have tried therapy with her joint and her alone I have spoke to gps,school basically asked for help and nones has been given but a 6 week therapy session. Which they say after they was happy she was ok. But my daughter is very good at showing a side she wants people to see. as yrs have gone on this behaviour has got too extremes such as due too her fighting I had too change schools 2 times and now have too homeschool as school was giving us no support. I have done mental health referrals spoke to experts nothing has been done from this. Until finally other day in a fit of rage from her she smashed up my home and I had to barricade myself behind a door while on phone to police as I didn’t feel safe. This isn’t first time this happened but it’s first time I found strength too call police on my own child in hope it would make her realise this needs too stop. now as police have attended my gp and police have contacted mental health crisis team for my child. obvs this means SS have become involved I am someone that suffers anxiety about this due too how many years I have been beat down by my child and think SS will judge me as a parent and take my children away but I didn’t have any choice my teen will end up hurting someone me or end up in prison with how she is if she doesn’t get help and I am crying out for help cause I want her too be happy and protected but cause I had too involve these people I am now worried sick with extreme anxiety over if me telling them what my kid is like they will think it’s not safe for my smaller child too be here and take her and this child is the most joyful happy loving kid I have protected her from all off this so she is hardly aware of her sisters outbursts I just feel like I have failed my teen as a mum for having too go too these levels too get her help she needs and I am struggling too cope with idea of SS thinking my small daughter isn’t ok in house cause she is she wants too always be with me tells me all time we are best friends I guess. I just feel like have I done the right thing asking for help before it’s too late and my teen ruins her life or gets very mentally poorly. also too note my teen admits she feels nothing that when she cries it’s all fake and she feels nothing she laughs when she sees how much pain she is causing me and she has said that she can’t remember the fits after they have finnished x

OP posts:
Geneticsbunny · 15/01/2025 09:22

It sounds like you are a really loving parent who is trying their best in really difficult circumstances. Have you tried going with your daughter to the GP and asking if they can suggest something which might help? I am thinking possible CAMHS support or possibly a referral to be assessed for ASD or ADHD? Your daughter sounds like she is really struggling with something and that you both need some help to work out what that is.

Singlemumfiles · 15/01/2025 15:22

Geneticsbunny · 15/01/2025 09:22

It sounds like you are a really loving parent who is trying their best in really difficult circumstances. Have you tried going with your daughter to the GP and asking if they can suggest something which might help? I am thinking possible CAMHS support or possibly a referral to be assessed for ASD or ADHD? Your daughter sounds like she is really struggling with something and that you both need some help to work out what that is.

we have had multiple dr visits and been in list for chams since she was 10 years old but atm I’m being told by all professionals there is a 4 year waiting list unfortunately now that it has got too this point that might hurry along her case im praying it does. And there isn’t a door I haven’t knocked on too get a diagnosis for her and help she needs she was doing therapy before lockdown and after that we was not contacted again other then too say they are happy she is ok I’m just hoping now with SS and mental health crisis team we manage too get her the help she needs

OP posts:
Geneticsbunny · 16/01/2025 21:45

I am sorry. I don't know what else to suggest. You could maybe ask on the special educational needs board?

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