Trying to sleep train a toddler

[sleepytrainer]

And it’s difficult.

DD is 18 months. Sleep was initially fine and she was sleeping through the night very young, other times she’d wake up once but it was all fine. It all started to go haywire when she was about 10 months but since being 12 months or so it’s been awful. Numerous wake ups, split nights, refusing to go back in the cot (if you try to co sleep she just wants to play.)

I am trying to sleep train her but I feel like going into her constantly is making it worse, but CIO seems controversial and does it work? I need help!

CIO works in the sense they stop crying because they know you aren't coming. But there is zero chance I would put my child in a situation where they felt so stressed and concerned for their safety that they go quiet to conserve energy as they have no idea when anyone will help them again.
I'd look at the rest of your day first. What time does she get up? What naps? Have you tried nurofen before bed as big teeth come through around this age?

She usually wakes up around 645, with a fifteen minute window either side, and she naps around midday for around an hour and a half. I’ve tried calpol, neurofen etc, no difference and I do honestly think she’s just in the habit of waking up now.

I used the ferber method. I know some people don’t like it, I didn’t love it but it worked for us when nothing else did. It’s not cry it out, it’s timed intervals so they know that you will always come to them, just not straight away. You can start off with really short intervals of a minute or two and then gradually increase.

Ok, I'd keep the wake ups very boring. Lights off, no chat, cuddle and water if she needs it and then back to bed. I'd say the split nights suggest she's not super tired, so I'd try reducing her nap (but bringing her bedtime forward if she's struggling by the end of the day). My 19 month old wakes a lot if she sneaks a long nap in, but if she doesn't to sleeps in much longer chunks.

It just doesn’t seem to work! She goes mad if you put her back in her cot and if I stay in the room with her it seems to make it worse as she holds her arms out crying to be picked up. This is why I’m not sure which approach to take. When I sleep trained my eldest it involved going in and out on timed intervals but it just gets her more worked up.

Does she have a favourite teddy? I went in to my son and cuddled his teddy rather than him. I sleep trained by night weaning so he'd wake and cry for milk. I comforted the teddy, "gave" him a drink of water from a sippy cup and a dummy, cuddled him tight and rocked him and said things like "aw there there, yes I know you're sad and tired, it's ok. I'm here. Shhh. It's time to sleep, not time to be awake. Yes I know you want milk but milk is for the morning. Have some more water. It's ok." Then I tucked teddy in. I let my son cry for a while watching (he was always standing up at the cot bars and was utterly transfixed at what was happening with teddy, even if he was still tearful) until he calmed down. He'd watch everything I did. I didn't acknowledge him at all but was intensely focused on teddy as if it was real and really upset.

After tucking teddy in I gave big praise to teddy and stroked his head. Then I did all the same things with my son. He took a big sip of water and his dummy and let me tuck him back in. He wanted the same as teddy. Every time he woke in the night I did this. After less than a week he slept through.

He's 3 now and we still use teddy for all sorts of role play: doctors, vaccinations, when we did potty training etc.

Can you move her to a single bed with a bed guard so you can lie next to her and cuddle her then roll out when she falls asleep? Game changer for me!!!

It doesn’t sound like she’s the type of child who will respond to CIO.

Although I’ll be honest, I agree with the first response and I’m always surprised at how pro CIO MN is.

I’d try capping the for two weeks. Don’t expect changes before then, it’ll take two weeks for any sleep changes to be apparent.

She really doesn’t sleep when you’re there, at all, she just grabs your face and babbles at you.

I don’t really know what to do to be honest. I don’t think the timing of the nap or anything like that is the problem; it’s all as it should be and besides, she wakes at the same time regardless of length of nap and time of nap.
i really think it’s habit.

I'm going through this now with nearly 3 year old and it is hell. Perfect sleeper until we gave the dummy to the dummy fairy. Same week he climbed out of his cot with his sleeping bag on so the cot had to go too. Big changes and now he is waking constantly and won't go back to sleep. So I'm here in solidarity and also for any suggestions

I know this is an old thread but I was just wondering if you had any updates? I'm going through the exact same thing right now with my 18 month old and don't know what to do.