It has been almost a year now since my daughter moved out. I still miss her but I understand and we keep in touch. I have learned a lot in these months-I want to share this to help other parents who go through it too. This is what I learned;
- Things are never as bad as they seem -you do get used to new situations ,even if they seem dreadful you DO adapt.
- I have a different relationship with my daughter now and it is great! She talks to me more when she's unhappy at her dad's and I have taken on more of a friendship role rather than that of a mother. She tells me when she's made mistakes at college and I just listen and support her. Before I would ground her or take her phone if she messed up at school but now I leave her dad to deal with discipline and he does a good job.
- One really important thing I have learned is never ever take to heart anything teens say which may be hurtful. We have all been teens and probably all went through a stage of taking parents for granted and/or wanted to spend time with friends rather than parents-it is normal! Some even say teens are given nasty hormones as it's natures way of encouraging independence away from parents. It is a fact of life that teens can be cruel to parents but I personally think this is harder on single parents!
- It is vital to give teens space. I know my daughter loves getting post the old fashioned way so I send her occasional gifts which she's made clear that she loves. It is my way of showing her love but expecting nothing in return.
- Parents must be patient when their teens are distancing themselves. I didn't really (and I mean REALLY!) appreciate my parents fully until I became a mother myself! Then I got it! I am now so close to my parents that I talk to them all the time about everything! Patience is the hardest but most rewarding of all.