Irrational anxiety about DS

[sushistar]

He's 5 months. This is really stupid, cos he's the picture of health, a lovely bouncing kind of baby iykwim, but... I get so scared he might die. I'm sitting here with tears rolling down my cheeks just thinking about it. Why do I have these stupid thoughts?

is he your only child?
i was (and still am a bit) exactly the same with my dd, i must have driven my doctor mad in the first 6 months! i used to read stuff in newspapers or see it on tv about children with diseases/ rare illness' and be checking dd to see if she had symptoms, always convinced she did. Dd is 2.5 now and i have got much better but am still the kind of parent that worries.
i cant really give any advice on how to get through it, but it does get easire, do you have anybody you can talk to in rl - i eventually told my mum how i felt and that helped me.
i hope knowing that you are not the only one is some help.

Aw It's a horrible feeling isn't it? No answers I'm afraid, just lots of sympathy, I remember feeling the same. It has mostly passed for me, I hope it does for you, soon

Yes, he's my first. It's not that I'm always checking him for symptoms, and I don't think I'm very over-protective - I quite happily hand him round at church to random people. I just sometimes gget this awful fear that he might die, and an overwhelming grief.

Poor you. It is quite shocking what maternal love can do to us isn't it? Life is never the same again after having children and the responsibility is so great I think that combined with the enormous love we feel it can easily become quite overwhelming.

So, it is probably quite normal but if you are worried, perhaps you should consider whether you are feeling more generally anxious about things at the moment and if so speak to somebody such as GP about it so that what is quite typical behaviour doesn't grow into something more irrational or problematic for you?

I'm sure you're fine though and just feeling like we all do sometimes.

Mindalina, did you just stop thinking about it? I feel like it haunts me.

Yes it's just sort of faded over time, gradually I suppose. I still have the odd moment where I get a bit panicky and upset, but it's easier to calm myself down now.

Do you/did you have post-natal depression? I only ask because I did, and anxiety is quite often linked with pnd. It might well be worth talking to your gp and seeing if they can do anything to help you.

No, I didn't have pnd, but i have had panic attacks and mild depression before, when i was in a job which made me very unhappy. I was never on drugs for it, and i guess if i go to the gp that's what they'd suggest. I'd rather deal with the sadness tbh!

sushistar, you are not alone. I was very much like this w. ds1 (now 2.5) when he was young and to a certain extent am even now w. 2 ds'

I can quite honestly say that my love for my boys terrifies me at times, it is so strong - and w. that comes the fear. I am worst late at night, and when I am premenstrual (sorry if TMI). Occasionally I have to try quite hard to not panic myself with premonitions of doom.

I think a certain amount of this feeling and is normal and comes with the territory (motherhood). But if you find that your worries are growing or taking up more and more of your time then please do speak to your GP cause they can form part of a depressive spiral.

I think you probably don't need drugs to help you deal with this, but it might be worth asking your GP if there's any "talking therapy" treatment for anxiety available. I did a six week group course with a few other people and was surprised at how much easier it made dealing with the anxiety for me.

Tbh when I started the course I thought it was a load of old rubbish and would never work for me, but it has made a difference for me and I'm much less fretful now. I can email you some of the hand-outs if you like but I don't know how much help they'd be on their own.

How are you feeling this morning? Do you sleep OK or do you find that you keep yourself awake worrying about DS?

Don't know how easy it is to get a referral but I would have thought Cognitive Behaviour Therapy would be a better option than drugs. It's basically retraining your mind to focus on constructive rather than destructive thoughts. If your GP won't prescribe you can probably pick up a book with techniques.

My dd had CBT as part of the treatment for her physical disability- to teach her not to get bogged down over it and it did do her good.