Retraining or third DC?

[LifeWanderer]

Hi everyone,

Wondering if I can canvas opinions here. DH and I have 2 DC, 4 and 2. I’m thinking of retraining (as an educational psychologist) once they’re both in school, but I also have a nagging thought about a third DC.

DH is open to this too, but wants me to be totally sure as I don’t think having both would be doable. It would mean another 4 years before I could start the training (a 3-year full-time doctorate with placements), and a third maternity leave plus nursery fees would stretch us too far if my salary then also reduced during training (ed psych training is funded but I would be earning less than I currently am until I qualified).

Once qualified, my earning potential would increase quite significantly, although my actual salary wouldn’t increase straightaway, if that makes sense. So the vote in favour of the training is the potential to earn significantly more some years in the future as I progressed as a qualified ed psych. For context, I currently earn around £40k, and the ed psych pay scale goes I think up to around £60-62k.

What do you think? What would you do? Is this kind of training with two school-age DC too much anyway? Any and all opinions gratefully received!

Obviously your call, but I would re-train in a heartbeat. Another child to the mix, although lovely in many ways, is a heck of a lot of money, commitment and drain on your working capacity. Put the children you already have, and your DH and yourself, first.

Thank you @TishHope 🙏🏼 I think re. taking the earning hit for retraining, there’s the eventual return/benefit for the whole family, but for a third baby, our finances would be that stretched forever. I think it’s hard to let go of the idea that we’re ‘done’ now and that we’ll never get that snuggly newborn stage again, but I know everyone who has DC goes through this and has to draw a line under the ‘having babies’ stage at some point! Thanks again

Re train. Focus on the children that you already have, and the quality of their lives and yours as a family.

Another vote for retrain. Two children is great and you will have the income to provide a good life for them. Will you be able to give them the same opportunities and experiences if you have a third DC?

Honestly it depends on ages but if it were me I'd have another baby and retrain a little bit later. You have years and years to retrain and work, but you might regret not having a last baby if it's what you want.

I was in similar position with having a second baby or going on to do my SALT course straight away and I'm now pregnant with #2.

But it's dependant on whether you want another baby that much

Thank you all, it’s so helpful to hear all your thoughts 🙏🏼