10 week old - how to encourage independent naps

[Carlotta27]

My baby is ten weeks old and will only nap while being held and rocked in a chair, she starts crying when put down or just lies there and can’t get back to sleep.

I realise she is young, but as we reach the end of the fourth trimester, I’m keen to teach her how to nap without me, as it’s really taking its toll on me in the day as I’m constantly feeding, playing, or sitting with baby while she naps!

Any tips on what worked for your babies are very welcome :)

In my NCT group it was around 4 months that those that had been contact napping started to be able to put down for naps using various methods. Double edged sword as a few found they then only napped in their cot and had to make sure they were at home for naps. Not too bad once they were down to one nap but I know one at least struggled with timings of classes and lunch when they were on two naps a day both at home in the cot.

Around 4 months my daughter started to be happy to be in a pram and from 5 months she reliably slept in the pram but it had to be moving. Right up to dropping a nap at 3 this was the most reliable way of getting her to nap. After 1 she didn't need to be walked the whole time. She never napped in the cot but she rarely slept in it at night either. Around 9 months I could lie her next to me but if I woke her I then had to deal with the consequence of the 7 minute nap. I should say she was a high needs baby with reflux and allergies that had a majorly negative impact on her sleep!

@Superscientist Thank you for your reply!

My baby is the oldest in the NCT group so I don’t have many experiences of others before me to listen to. It’s reassuring to hear it was about the 4 month mark that babies could be weaned off of contact napping as it does make me realised it’s a lot to expect from a 2.5 month / 10 week old.

It must have been tough for you having to take your daughter for a walk in the pram every nap time, especially weather if how it is at the moment! Well done you for persevering, I underestimated how tricky and full on parenting would be, and I haven’t even got a high needs or colicky baby!

I’d really try not to worry too much about it, my baby is nearly 9 months now and still contact naps x

@Mrsttcno1 Thanks, that’s good to know. I find it awkward when my mother or mother in law come round and ask when and where they can put the sleeping baby down and I have to break to them that they can’t or she’ll wake and fight sleep! It makes me feel a bit like that should be happening!

Mammals are designed to be held close! My mum always understood but I think my mil at first thought we were being a bit soft. It eased up after her reflux was identified as bad - at this point she couldn't be out of my arms awake or asleep! My daughter went down for naps until 3-4 weeks and after that they were few and far between!

I watch 12 series of Grey's anatomy when my daughter was tiny! I had a sling too which can give you your arms back to make a cuppa and or some lunch. I kept my ironing board up which was the perfect height for me to eat my lunch whilst pacing with my daughter.

We were out in most weathers, during one thunderstorm when my partner had an important meeting WFH I tried pacing inside the garage but she wasn't fooled. I leaned into it and took a flask for coffee, a snack and Bluetooth headphones so I could listen to podcasts or make hands free phone calls. I walked for 2-3h a day!

I'd ask yourself about the motives to try and encourage no contact naps. An early learning lesson in parenting is others will always have an opinion so don't make changes based on how you think others will judge what you are doing if it's what you want to do. The 4 month sleep regression can hit hard for some so I'd wait until you have passed that and tentatively try moving away from contact naps.

Ah enjoy those cuddles. It'll be over in a flash. My 18 month and 3 year olds love a contact nap! From about 16 months they were able to fall asleep in the car or pushchair as well as on the boob. Can count on one hand the number of times I have been able to transfer them successfully from car or my lap into a cot. Some babies just won't do cot naps no matter what you do. Both loved sling naps too.

Both of mine refused pram/pushchair from 1 week until 14 month for first and 8 months for second. Both would only contact nap until 7 or 8 months.

Now 3 and 20months. Both sleep fine now, but lay with til they fall asleep

My tip for napping alone? Wait for them to grow older!
Seriously. They either can do it, like my eldest who could through no effort at all on my part, or they can't, like my youngest who despite me replicating exactly what I'd done with eldest, had different ideas. She's 11months now and people other than me can rock her and transfer her into the crib, which has only started happening in the last few weeks. I can only feed to sleep, or buggy/car/sling.
My 'perfect' cot napping son, who self settled entirely until 7m, on the other hand, by 14m refused to nap in the cot at all, could spend 45-60 mins playing about and by the time his sister arrived at 20m, I had long given up cot nap attempts and used buggy or car for every nap. Initially I thought it was awful. Then I saw how my friends were utterly tied to home for naps point blank refusing to socialise, had terrible holidays and days out because baby wouldn't nap in buggy, or cut short activities to rush home and nap. No thanks, I've come to realise if it's buggy or cot, I'm much happier with buggy!

Ignore the relatives. They're probably angling towards sleep training which is a controversial topic. Giving your baby what she needs is the best thing you can at the moment, and clearly what she needs is the security of an adult's arms. Do get a decent sling though, so you can still get about, and a decent pram footmuff for baby and coat etc for yourself.

My baby was always breastfed then contact nap for sleep, unless in the moving pram or sling. Which was fine as I enjoyed the walks and was able to have a drink on the go as well, and TBF either way when contacting napping I could also have a drink and snacks, and would watch the TV on low volume or during the night read my kindle!
Around 5 months I thought I'd like to do something else around the house or a quick exercise routine, so sometimes I was successful at transferring her to the next to me but only for 20 mins ISH. I then moved to the cot and she was able to do one of two naps in the cot, then around 11 months she was doing her only nap as a cot nap and won't contact sleep or sleep on the sofa or anything, doesn't sit still!

Thank you for all these replies. It’s reassuring to hear it’s not just me and think I’ll have to submit to the contact naps for now, which may make me less stressed not having to think about what I’m doing wrong / how to train!

I need to look into baby wearing more as a sling would definitely give me some more freedom.

Really appreciate you all sharing your varied experiences x