Not sure where to turn next for food issues- GP? Dietician?

[LegoLellow]

I'll try to keep this as brief as I can but can add details /answer any questions. Was also unsure where to post but hopefully this will be ok here.

DD is nearly 8 and for as long as I can remember has been tall, heavy (always 90+ centiles on both) and obsessed with food and eating. Always complaining she's hungry and always thinking about what she's going to eat next.

I've tried moderating, sticking to set meal times and snack times. Daily/weekly "allowance" boxes. Getting rid of all the traditionally unhealthy stuff- always seems to creep back in via gifts/treats from family. I've tried rolling with it but she'll eat adult portions of food and complain of stomach ache and feeling sick (though doesn't put her off doing it again).

She eats well- in terms of variety and is the least fussy person I know, never mind child. She's not one you could say "have an apple/carrot/cracker" because she'd be perfectly happy with that- though of course sweets, chocolate etc are favoured.

She's started helping herself to things out of the cupboards and hiding wrappers. Is using pester power to the best of her ability and wearing me down with constant complaints of being hungry or wanting food. She's also noticing that she looks different to other children her age and says she's fat or has a big tummy.

I need to figure out how to handle this in the best way and ideally would like some guidance. Where shall I go next? Part of me wants a big reset and to overhaul the household diet completely but everything I read suggests small changes, unnoticeable if possible. And honestly, we don't eat badly. It's the constant nagging for snacks and the secret eating of junk that I feel are the problem. I think she needs some awareness about energy in Vs energy out and why it's important to limit certain things but I'm scared of giving her an eating disorder.

Please be gentle 😓

Hopeful bump..

Bumping for you OP mainly. I'm surprised you've not had responses as often mumsnet seems to really engage with threads where mums are worried about weight and eating.
It's a subject close to my heart because I was an overweight child and teenager. I still feel awful when I think about the (very careful) conversation my mum had with me about choosing healthy options. I think I was about your daughter's age. My view is that children have poor impulse control and they cannot be expected to resist unhealthy food if it's accessible. I think in your situation I would say nothing to her, gradually change what you're buying so that there are only healthy options at home. Have a conversation with friends and family that you will not welcome edible presents. She'll probably still need large portions as her body is used to it so perhaps change the proportion so that a larger proportion is veg. You can of course also build in more exercise?

I would definitely take her to the gp. They may fob you off but go armed with the things you have tried, for how long, and the impact they have. it might take more than one attempt to get seen.

In the mean time it sounds like you’re doing everything right. It’s never too early to start using the language of intuitive eating. So when she’s hungry you can ask her out of 10, whether anything else is going on for her, I.e is she bored or craving sugar or sad? And also not to worry if she feels hungry.

our dc has started sneaking chocolate and we’re trying to be easy breezy about it while teaching them about blood sugar, proteins, fibre etc so they learn to fill up ok healthy stuff if they’re hungry and have chocolate for a treat.

It sounds like she has a healthy diet but also consider upping protein and getting her to slow down at mealtimes.

I would stay completely clear off calories in vs calories out for the time being (especially as we’re learning that it is just not that simple) and stick to learning about food, reading packets, learning what foods contain and what nutrients do. Knowledge is power so it’s not about reducing what she eats right now but changing the composition of what she eats, how much she understands about it and learning to listen to her body.

The usborne book ‘what happens when we eat’ is a simple engaging guide to food.

Thank you @CasaMundi same here re history of being overweight. I don't want the same for her, it made my school years much harder than they needed to be.
I've noticed how food orientated everything seems to be now, it's hard to escape it and even harder to control it. I know people mean well but they're not doing her any favours! Of course just after Christmas there's even more around than usual, but then Easter rolls round, and birthdays etc it's hard to escape from. I've spoken to close family about this before but it seems to fall on deaf ears or everything is a "special occasion".

Main meals are no issue at all- always a third to half veg and I cook 90% from scratch. We're pretty active on the whole- not so much "structured" stuff which I could look into.

Thanks @Sneakybusiness that's a good idea to take in what I've already tried. I'll give this some thought and make some notes as my mind tends to go blank!
Definitely avoiding the word "calories" but we had a chat about blood sugar and fibre this morning when she said she was hungry immediately after finishing her breakfast. I used a "rollercoaster" analogy and she seemed to understand..
Slowing down at mealtimes is something I've been trying to get her to do for a while- she's always running at a million miles an hour so has tendency to bolt meals down.
I was very relaxed about the sneaking at first but it's worsening- taking more and more often- and it's generally in the morning so a terrible way to start the day! Thank you for your advice.