Getting a bit of rest with DS at home

[Suzisushka]

I am a bit sleep deprived and would love some advice.

I live in a 2-bedroom flat with DH and DS, who’s 3. DH is good at spending time with DS—he often takes him out and is rather hands-on. However, when the three of us are at home, DS often prefers to be with me.

This becomes tricky when I need proper rest, especially now that I’m 8 months pregnant. For example, I might need to nap during the day, but it’s hard to arrange this if DS is at home since he frequently comes looking for me, even when DH is with him.

DH suggested putting a bolt lock on our bedroom door to lock it so I can nap undisturbed. Do you think this would be a good option 🙂? Or maybe you know of any other solutions for this situation?

Definitely lock the bedroom door or get a wedge to wedge it closed. You may be able to sleep through DS trying to get in if you know he can't. Will be even more impotent you have a newborn and are up in the nights. Ignore the previous mean poster.

I find DD always enjoys playing games with DH and doing lego and things. She's also very much a mummy's girl but lego and building are very much 'their' activities. We also have a 14mo DS who is starting to get involved too but I do find it helps that DH and the kids have their sort of unique things they do that mummy isn't very good at so it makes the time they spend together playing lego etc special.

Not possible - same with me. At least one of them wants me, if we're all home regardless. Lock won't help, as they'll just bang at door or scream for you.

When I was ill last week, I had to get dad to take them out to the park each day, so I got an hours rest.

Absolutely no idea what this comment means.

OP I live in a 2 bedroom flat with a 3 year old. A 3 year old is capable of understanding that mummy is tired and needs peace and quiet to sleep. If I need a nap, or a lie in to myself, there's not a chance in hell that anyone is going to stop me from doing that, even a toddler. My child has understood this from the age of 2. Same if daddy needs a sleep or rest. You don't get to wake him up and you just have to wait to play with him later.

So, yes. Explain how it is going to be to your 3 year old, get a lock for your door and earplugs, and enjoy your nap. He's got his daddy looking after him, he doesn't get to dictate that you have to be there too. See you in a couple of hours 👋🏻 mummy needs a rest. Then it's up to your husband to sort it out and take him out of the house if he can't manage that at home. Your child needs to learn this now.

Offer your DS the choice. He can lie quietly next to you with a pile of books to look at or he can do something exciting with Daddy. If he's noisy or boisterous, he has to go out of the room. I wouldn't necessarily exclude him but would put in place boundaries for when the baby arrives.

Little white lies sometimes..

Mummy is buying food.
Mummy will be home soon.
Do you think Mummy will buy you a chocolate frog at the shop?
Grandma is sick and Mummy likes to see her.
Mummy will wake up after we walk the dog
Mummy is sleeping until Bluey is over.
Mummy is tired. She will wake up after your bath.
Mummy is sleeping until she wakes up, sshh.

Have chock under bedroom door.
Gradually use the lower excuses more and more.

You could also book a cheap Motel or visit a friend or relative and sleep there for a whole day.

Well it worked for us with 3 toddlers that's exactly what hubby did for me. I can go read, or watch tv for an hour or nap when he is off work. The little one's picked up very quickly mummy is going upstairs for an hour it's time to play with daddy and at first I used the lock and now there used to me popping upstairs a couple of times a week and don't bother coming up. Plus hubby would stop them coming up aswell. It does work if you do it right, we all need a little space now and then even just for a quiet coffee

We had a bolt on our bedroom door for just such reasons. Also on utility room so I could iron to The Archers for some 'me' time.

Only when DH elsewhere in house and on duty.

I'd expect the 3yo to understand rather than needing to physically lock the door with a bolt. I'm 8months pregnant with a 2 and 5yo and they both understand that sometimes mummy needs a rest!

They also both understand that they leave each other alone if the other is sleeping and your 3yo will need to understand that for the baby. Maybe practise "sleeping", DP can show DS you're asleep, start with very short times and build up so he understands it doesn't mean you're away forever.

Will it help? Rattling the locked door and shouting for mummy is going to disturb you as much as him coming in. Really he should be capable of understanding that Mummy is resting and Dad should keep him engaged by doing activities with him and intercepting him if he starts in the direction of your door.