5-6 year age gap

[PleaseHelpMe1]

Hi all, just looking for people’s opinions on a 5-6 year age gap. We have a 5 year old at present and while thinking I was one & done, I’ve started feeling like I may want another baby. I do have some concerns but the age gap is one of them. A lot of the time it’s just one parent at a time as we’ve coordinated our shifts round work, I feel like it would be hard to find things to do that suit them both not so much at first but when they’re a bit older like 1 and 7?
I do have personal experience as there is a big age gap between me & my brother but keen for parents experiences too.

I have two friend, one with a sister 6 years older and one with a sister 6 years younger and the both have the most amazing relationships.

Both me and DH have the same age gap with our younger siblings. I'm close now with my DSis as adults but growing up it was a bit like being two only DC who just happened to share the same DPs. I definitely felt pushed out but that was more due to my "D"Ma behaviour.

Like I said we have a great relationship now but it I imagine it's hard say trying to entertain an 8 year old and a 14 year old together?

There are 6 years between my DC. There are ups and downs, as I think there probably are with any sibling relationships, but I'm still glad that we had our second.

If only one parent is around a lot of the time, it's a fact that you will have to say no to a lot of things the older child wants to do but needs or wants parental assistance for. Even my friends with smaller age gaps have to say no to their older children a lot (or turn down invites their older children would have enjoyed) because of the younger one. It's an inherent part of the lifestyle of having two children.

Also, for big activities you'll end up trying to compromise on the age you do them so no one ends up doing them at the right time. For example, by the time it's worth taking your youngest to somewhere like Disney or Lapland, your oldest would have missed the best age really. And if you go when your oldest is the best age, your little one won't remember it.

For me, those are a big reasons why we're one and done and had a 5 year age gap limit when dithering about having a second.

There’s an 8 year age gap between mine, it does mean they aren’t particular close however they are protective of eachother which is nice.

I don’t think it’s a huge problem to have an age gap.

There isn't a right or wrong age gap. It's what works for your family. If you had three a 5 year age gap between the oldest and youngest would be the norm anyway.

I come from a family with 3.5-4.5 year age gaps and that's what I'm ending up myself (partly due to secondary infertility). It has always seemed like a good age gap to me. I've taught lots of children who've had baby siblings in year one, two or three and they've all been very well adjusted kids who've loved getting a sibling when they are a bit older.

There's five years between my two. I can't remember it ever being much of a problem. They're mid 20's and late teen now and happily still enjoy activities together.

5 year age gap is working out great for us. It was really great during the baby stage for the second as first born was at school, so could really focus on the baby and enjoy them. Also first was fairly independent, didn't need help going to the loo or grabbing a snack so easy to be feeding the baby and just overseeing the first without having to get too involved.

First also loved being a 'helper', grabbing wipes, toys etc... which was genuinely helpful!

It can be challenging to find stuff that they both like to do sometimes, often quite a bit of compromising is involved, but I try to keep it balanced and compensate the one who is compromising the most. Eg today have a toddler party and have to drag my eldest with me, but I've arranged a play date with friends for afterwards for them.

My two play together quite a lot despite the age gap. I think most children will 'make do' and play with whoever is available rather than not play!

Overall they have a good relationship and the gap works for us. I wouldn't let it hold you back if you want another.

I'm surprised you say that as that hasn't been my experience at all.
We have a six year age gap. Yes the youngest sometimes gets dragged along to the eldests activities but it also works both ways although now the oldest is old enough to be left for a short time.
I can't think of anything I've had to turn down due to the kids age gap.

There are just under 6 years between my sons. When my youngest was born my eldest was the best big brother and adored him for a long time. When my eldest went to senior school the gap became huge and there were afew years of rows and distance. When my oldest went to uni and the the youngest went to college it evened out again. Roll on to now and they have rented a house together from last year and get on really well.