My mother in law and I have (not for want of trying) difficult relationship. We basically are similar but different people. She has other grand children and a daughter in law who she worships. When she is with my child she is on the phone to her other grand children. I know she means well (as I do believe people generally don’t set out to be mean) but i feel she undermines me in relation to my child saying they are tired/over stimulated. Dictates she is talking the child on a walk without asking my permission. When it comes to gifts for the other grandchildren, she always makes the point to us what we need to get them/ reminds us several times of birthdays etc. Yet i am never asked what my child would like or even need as a gift.
She never messages me to ask about my child. Has cancelled on days she is meant to see my child for other plans.
I Have in the past initiated conversations and sent photos of my child/ shared updates. But now I am feeling what is the point. What should I do? What can I do differently?