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Should I move my child to a different school

8 replies

avidteadrinker · 08/01/2025 13:40

My child is in Y1 at a local primary school. Academically he is getting on ok, but I feel socially he doesn't have a strong friendship group like he did at Nursery.

There is one other child who he is close but this relationship can sometimes be dysfunctional (other child tries to control/manipulate mine) so I have taught him techniques to deal with this. The other boys in his class are very boisterous and my son has no interest in being part of their group because they are unkind. He sometimes plays with the girls on occasion. He tells me that he sometimes spends lunchtime/breaks playing by himself, which breaks my heart. He is a gentle boy at heart, maybe a bit emotionally immature for his age.

Should I be considering moving him to a different school in the area, maybe a larger school with more children so he can find some like-minded souls?
There are plenty of other options with spaces it would just mean a bit further to walk each morning. Unfortunately, his nursery friends are in a different year group to him, so even if we moved to one of their schools, they wouldn't be in the same class, so he would be starting from scratch again making friends in his year group.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Sirzy · 08/01/2025 13:43

Go and visit the schools (without him) get a feel for them and then decide

Injectionstoslim · 08/01/2025 13:44

Have you talked to his teacher about your concerns?

ACynicalDad · 08/01/2025 13:46

We had similar, we asked him if he wanted to move and he was desperate to. He’s loved it and thrived. But he did know a couple of the kids, but not so well

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user1492757084 · 08/01/2025 13:53

Is he too young for his grade?
Is that the reason for his social anxiety? Should he be in a lower grade due to social skills?

Can he join a group outside school hours that meets his social needs and develops his confidence? Scouts, dance, soccer, chess?
Would having a few play dates improve his classmates' knowlege of him?

avidteadrinker · 08/01/2025 14:05

@Injectionstoslim I asked at the last parents evening about how he's getting on socially and they said he was fine. But that was afew months back and I will speak to them being more explicit about my concerns

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Injectionstoslim · 08/01/2025 14:09

avidteadrinker · 08/01/2025 14:05

@Injectionstoslim I asked at the last parents evening about how he's getting on socially and they said he was fine. But that was afew months back and I will speak to them being more explicit about my concerns

Please do. They’re are lots of things they can to do help.

avidteadrinker · 08/01/2025 14:17

@user1492757084 He is one of the youngest in the year, and I do think this plays into it.
He doesn't have social anxiety as such, he just doesn't want to play with people who are not kind to him, so plays by himself instead. I agree with doing more clubs outside of school and playdates I can definitely make more effort!

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redskyatnight · 08/01/2025 14:31

How big is his year group? How many boys? If he's in a small group with few boys, then yes, I probably would.

Also worth talking to the teacher. It's not uncommon for children to say they didn't play with anyone at playtime, when they actually mean they didn't play with anyone for 2 minutes. What is the teacher's take on it? Are there other children she can suggest that might he might like to play with?

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