Baby dads

[Little562]

So me and my baby dad have never been together we sleeted with each other once and I fell pregnant, I know it probably wasn’t a wise choice but I wanted a kid so bad and now he’s demanding to have more then two days a week, where as I feel like two days a week is perfect baring in mind our son is 6 months old and I’m just seeing that the father is getting more and more demanding and always trying to change my sons routine for his benefits and I don’t feel like that’s right or fair l, I just wanna know what you guys think of this and what I should do really??

Mumsnet doesn't like the expression baby dad because it's full of middle class people who look down on slang. But at the end of the day that's the risk you took deciding to go ahead with a pregnancy with a near stranger. You have the right to say no to extra contact but he has the right to go to court and ask for more.

No - it’s because it’s a complete offensive term for Father.

i don’t want his money so I get him to bulk buy nappy’s milk and wet wipes

Better tell him to stop buying the milk because you’ve decided to breastfeed.

You slept with him because you wanted a baby and now you’ve got a baby you don’t want him to want the baby too much.

What's a baby dad?
A man you have a child with, now unavailable?

He's your child's father not a sperm donor. It sounds like he's wanting to be involved which is so lovely for your baby. If I were you I would focus on coparenting well and trying to encourage the relationship between them.

Breastfeeding is tough, how do you find expressing?

As for the financial side work something out properly. Sit down together and come to an agreement of a fair and sustainable amount. I think the child maintenance site may have a calculator to give you a rough idea of what is expected.

So why is he bulk buying milk if your breastfeeding?

If the father wants to be fully involved (which should be seen as a great thing), then I think you need to be working towards 50:50 at some point. If he is just "demanding" 50:50 then he is just fulfilling his half of the responsibility.

Well, it’s a bit of a pointless question, is it good enough? isn’t it? Because for you, it’s ideal, but for your baby’s father, it’s not ideal. The opinions of random women on mumsnet aren’t really relevant. That being said, I think a court order is more likely to lean towards ‘little and often’ contact while the baby is so young and you’re still breastfeeding.

Rubbish. The terms baby dad and baby mum are terms used by some social groups that just mean 'the other parent of my child who I am not in a relationship with' - if the term is used by a group of people in a totally neutral and non offensive way then you are not in a position to insist it's an offensive term. It's pure snobbery.

If the op is American that might explain the term.

Are you op?

Of course she isn’t.

Is 'sleeted' a typo or a hasty new expression, along with 'baby dad'?
I think I need to get out more...!

This post makes me so sad. This is the root of so many problems in our society - people wanting and going about acquiring babies without giving any forethought to the baby's future rights and prospects.
As another PP says, you should be thinking about your responsibility to your baby, providing loving caring relationships for him for the future, not squabbling over your 'right' to have him and prevent his father from having time with him.

Time to grow up, OP, and have a mature, calm discussion with the father about what's best for your (joint) child...

Why would that explain it? It's used by lots of people in the UK. It originates from Jamaican slang and has been incorporated in MLE.

Hi OP.
If you're breastfeeding, I think you're right about not increasing contact just at the moment.

When your baby is weaned, that would be the time to consider increasing it.

Tell the baby's father to go to court if he wants to increase contact.

And do claim via the CMS. Vague purchases of nappies and wipes don't support a baby.

You are being ridiculous and selfish.
He has equal rights to the baby, it’s not up to you to decide 2 days per week is enough. Regardless of the baby being a result of a one night stand or a long term relationship, makes no difference.

BTW did you write "sleeted" by mistake?

Your child has two parents who equally deserve to spend time with them.

You child is not your property and you shouldn’t begrudge your child’s father wanting a bigger part in their life.

Put your child’s feelings before yours.

if you were that desperate for a baby and wanted them all for yourself you should have got a sperm donor. Stop being selfish.

@Little562 when your baby is with his father, does he stay overnight?

If he does, how does that work with breastfeeding?

Imagine referring to yourself as a "baby mum".

Comments like this don't really help the OP.

@InkHeart2024

I've only ever heard it said by Americans.

According to google it originated in Jamaican English slang and moved over to the states

Parents don't have rights.

Children do. Parents have responsibilities.

@InkHeart2024

I'm not that fussed either way.