Child with angry management issues

[Peace4life]

So I'm a 19-year-old man, and I have a 12-year-old sister. For over a year, her attitude has gotten worse because she barely speaks to anyone at her school, and when things don't go her way, she immediately resorts to violence such as hitting her friends in school. My parents always resort to yelling or maybe hitting when dealing with it, and it doesn't have any effect on my sister's attitude. If things go like this, my sister's attitude could take a turn for the worse in the future. Can you please give me some advice so that I can help with my sister's attitude so that she can have a better life?

In general what is life like for her? Is she ever happy or is it a constant case of her being miserable? I only have boys but the hormone thing I and my friends with girls see is mad- I remember my son shouting and as he did it I could literally see him thinking ‘what am I saying?’ Does she always get what she wants or never? Is she rational and does she do a lot at home outside of screens (reading, art, bikes etc) or is it all screens and being alone? Does she have friends? (Sorry for all the questions but it might help you see something too!)

I would say that her daily life is strict and miserable because after school ends, she usually takes an extra lesson outside of school in the evening, and at night, she continues to study. She rarely goes out and always resorts to screens during break time because she doesn't have a lot of break time due to my parent's strict parenting and academic pressure of getting good grades. She barely has friends due to her attitude and my father's bad reputation at her school. In terms of getting what she wants, she sometimes gets it, and sometimes she doesn't get it. In my opinion, the root of her attitude is our toxic family relationship. My father is short-tempered and quite an arrogant person, and as he gets older, it worsens. Every time we have a conversation, if we don't agree and want to say something else, he immediately says that we are trying to oppose him, and that leads to a fight. Either at home or sometimes when the family goes out for a drive, he often lectures about current things happening and sometimes lectures about my mom's or my sister's past mistakes, which makes going outside a living hell too. My mom, who was affected by it, sometimes releases her anger into my sister, which makes my sister scared. It's like an endless cycle of it every day. Thankfully i wasn't affected by it too much because i already left for college but for my sister at times it could be a living hell. I wanted to do something to change the current condition however as i'm not financially independent i couldn't help but feel hopeless watching as things go unfold.

Your parents hit her and you wonder why she hits others?

🤔

That's why i'm asking for advice on how i can fix it.

I would contact social services if she's being hit. You can also contact the school.

Give her your time and attention regularly. Take her out, have fun, build a strong positive bond and help her feel valued and cared for.

Are you brave enough to chat to your parents alone about reducing the pressure on her? Less studies. More fun.

Talk or email the schools pastoral team and explain your concerns. Ask if she can access a counsellor to help her. Can the school talk to your parents about reducing the pressure?

Talk to the NSPCC about any violence.

Well I live in Scotland where they'd be prosecuted for hitting her

Speak to the school and social work.

Get your parents to stop hitting her and yelling at her and making her life miserable or since that wouldn't actually change report them to social services and tell school's safeguard lead what's going on home. It's perfectly clear they she has anger issues because of how she's treated and the completely shit angry parenting she's exposed to.