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Parenting

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What age would you suggest your DC stay over at their fathers?

1 reply

cheekycee · 07/01/2025 06:36

DS is 1 next month. Me and his father split when he was 3m. He's not the best dad, not by a far cry. I mentioned to him when we split (when DS was 3m) that his father wouldn't have DS overnight for a while as he's very young and he is very much attached to me and needs me. His dad went 2 months without trying to get in contact RE his son, then now he seems him around 9 hours per week (2 hours one evening and 7 hours on a Sunday) sometimes he brings him back early on the Sunday and he skipped last Sunday so sometimes he doesn't even really have him for that long!
Anyway, he's never asked to have him overnight (thankfully) but now he's getting older, I fear he will.
The reason it is a fear is because he can't handle my DS crying, he doesn't know what he needs when he cries, he's never done a night feed with him and hasn't a clue what to do when he is teething or making a cry, really. He used to hand DS back to me if he had been holding him for around 10-15 min as a baby. He has no interest in my opinion and is very much a Facebook dad.
My DS has come back from his house injured(accidents happen and I do believe this was 100% UNintentional!) and hungry (this really pissed me off!).

If he does ask to have him overnight, I will be saying no as the trust isn't there. He may be his dad but he doesn't know how to handle my son.

I was wondering what to say IF he does ask though. What age would you find suitable for the overnights??

Thanks and PS please be kind - always so judgemental on this app RE parenting.

OP posts:
Mindymomo · 07/01/2025 06:54

I presume you don’t have an official Court Arrangement for the child and that you are not breastfeeding. It used to be pretty normal that from the age of 2 overnight access is acceptable, but recently you see access being given by Courts much earlier now. If your ex was to go to Court, they may get given 2 nights every other weekend and one overnight mid week, so whatever you do suggest, think it over carefully. I would tell ex DC isn’t ready for overnight stays just yet.

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