3.5 year old flower girl - tips needed

[Bounty9]

My DD has been asked to be flower girl at SIL wedding in October, AND BIL in November. She will be almost 3.5 at that point. I have quite bad anxiety disorder, so please forgive any stupid questions - my brain has been whirring since she was asked.

I’m not a bridesmaid at either, so do I just keep her with me until the last minute and then send her off down the aisle? I think she would be fine, she’s fairly outgoing but needs a bit of encouragement sometimes. I wouldn’t want her getting upset.. do I tell her the plan in advance or tell her the morning of? I think once she’s done the first, the second will be fine as she knows what to expect.

Secondly, would you just let a 3.5 year old stay up at this point for the disco, or take them up to the hotel room around their normal bedtime? I imagine she will have massive FOMO anyway..

Any other tips re: toddlers at important weddings also gratefully received. It’ll be her first and I want them to go smoothly!

Thanks!

will there be any other flower girls or other kids present?

I'd definitely tell her in advance and do a 'rehearsal' (in the wedding venue on the morning if you can, and maybe at home too).

can you have one adult stationed at the starting point to get DD walking and another near the end point to 'catch her'. so her instructions are just 'walk from Dad to the spot near grandma and throw flowers'

My DDs were flower girls at age 4 and 6 - they had a disney movie in a room near the dinner while the adults ate, and then came to say goodnight to everyone at the party and then went to bed. So a bit later than normal but not up to midnight.

Ahh @parietal that’s so helpful, thank you. At the moment her cousin is the only other child involved - he will be ring bearer at both, and is slightly older at almost 5. Although he’s currently adamant he’s not doing it 😂

It really depends how close she is to any of the bridesmaids. If she doesn't really know people then I would definitely travel to church with your DD and then wait at the back till bridal party arrive. I would wait with her and send her down the aisle at the right point. Have her Dad/ Granny sitting at the top of the church so she can go sit with them when she gets to the top of the aisle (preferably near outside edge so she can leave quietly if she gets wiggly or needs a wee). You can go sit with the family near the front once every one's up the aisle, as long as you can walk up the side aisle quietly!