Work stress as a parent...

[alexis97]

Hi everyone, little bit of context.

I'm a mam of 2 to a 3 year old and 11 month old.

So start of December I had a stage 1 sickness review.. I had to take 6 days for myself with postnatal anxiety and 4 days for the kids due to illness. We all attend the same nursery (I work there) since having the meeting I have been terrified that I may have to stay off. My kids have been so poorly this weekend, temps of 40, little one got sent to hospital Thursday, husband had him Friday at home so I could work on Friday. They were both so poorly I've never seen them so ill, both have been given antibiotics for infections and are getting better slowly since starting these but still not right. I messaged my boss on Sunday night to give her the heads up and asked if I could take annual leave or unpaid so the time doesn't go as sick, she confirmed this for me this morning and said that's okay but I'd have to take unpaid which I was okay with. I then got a message asking how they were because we had staff sickness. There was no way I could come in.. I'm terrified of how tomorrow might go down, can I get in trouble for this? I'm terrified that I've annoyed her. My husband is on nights so couldn't have the kids. He works in a very demanding/dangerous role so going to work on no sleep is way too dangerous. Can I get in trouble even though I was granted the leave? I have texts to prove it was granted. I'm so worried.

Hi OP. I hope your little ones are ok this evening and you are managing to relax too. There is absolutely nothing worse than when your children are poorly and the last thing you want to be worrying about is work. I think you need to stand firm; you’ve been really transparent with your boss, taken unpaid leave and sorted out being off with your children tomorrow. If they have staff sickness, they will need to work out how to manage that without revoking your absence.

of course, that’s not to say your boss will be happy about it. But that’s not your fault! Just try to keep in perspective that your family come first, no matter what. You’ve done everything right.sending hugs for a speedy recovery for the little ones xxx

You are entitled to 4 weeks' unpaid parental leave per year to care for your children, although this has to be taken as full weeks. You're also entitled to 'time off to deal with an emergency involving a dependent' which is unlimited, although this has to be an unforeseen situation (so not a doctor's appointment, for example).

Information here: https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

In short, you have a legal right to do what you're doing and your employer can't do anything about it. Hope your kids get better soon 🙏

I've had to call in again this morning as they are so poorly and my husband is working nights. I'm currently on a stage 1 absence review for the kids being poorly and I had to take 6 days for myself with postnatal anxiety, I had to go back when little one was 12 weeks. I'm worried I'll get a stage 2 and lose my job.

You need to make sure your DH is pulling his weight - he needs to be taking time off if he needs to ensure you're both taking an equal amount of time off with the kids. Or trying to leverage last minute annual leave. There's no reason this should all be on you x

Dh take annual leave x

My husband is on nights so couldn't have the kids

Your husband should be doing half the day's that the kids are off ill. It should not all be on you to do.