What are your workplace like with taking time off due to childcare?

[TwinklyGoldReader]

I feel like my workplace are going to get annoyed with me for having to take time off with DS when he's poorly.

For context I only started at the beginning of November but have had two absences for him already. One for an ear infection and again today for tonsillitis. The nursery also called once due to a high temperature, but DH collected.

I think I'm panicking as I've also had a day off for myself when I perforated my ear drum!

I work in an infant school so feel so guilty leaving them short staffed, but not sure what alternative there is. DH does his fair share but also works in a school and is the higher earner.

They were very nice when I called but I also feel like they think I'm lying! Should I be worried?

Mine is great, but I work in a role where if I don't get something done it's easy to do in the evening/next day.

When I worked in retail management, we started 'investigating' after 3 separate periods of emergency childcare leave in a rolling 12 months. To be honest, it generally went No Further Action unless the parent was clearly taking on more responsibility than they needed to because their job was 'less important' (it doesn't go down well telling your boss you're always the one taking days off because your partner/husband earns more!) or there were more than 5/6 instances in a year. It's obviously workplace dependant though.

@LittleRedRidingHoody thank you for your reply! I'd never tell them about DH earning more, they know he's had her and I've come back whilst she's still poorly!

But also for your sake - don't put yourself at risk because his job is "more important" than yours - more often than not that extra pay comes with more security. And unless he's also new to his job he should be taking on more of the absences while you establish yourself, earn an reputation and get that goodwill banked.

@JassyRadlett this is very true! I think I'm definitely the default parent for this, which we probably need to look at together. He says he hates taking time off work, but don't we all!

Exactly! In our relationship I've always been the higher paid and more senior and secure but that didn't mean I put all the absences onto DH - we've always made sure we split fairly, even when that wasn't equal (eg when one of us was in a new role, had a big piece of work on, etc.)

The first couple of years are brutal for illness but then for most kids improves dramatically. Mine are very rarely off for illness now they're at school (though DS2 tried to compensate with injuries...)

You need to share emergency leave and make sure your employer knows ... they will get peed off if they think it's just them giving of the time. You could offer to help out at evening events to make up the time.

@ByQuaintAzureWasp I'll make sure they're aware, thank you. I'm a teacher so can't make up any time unfortunately, it's expected that we stay late for 'free' anyway! X

Definitely make sure there's a balance between you and your husband. I probably have done more of the sick leave as my partner leaves before we wake up so those days I have off and he takes the second day off.
If she's ill in the night we would decide who has the most time critical things usually this means Mon and Fri I do as my partner has meetings on those days and Tues and Thurs he does as I have meetings those days. I don't work Wednesdays. It also means we never have more than 2 days off.
Both of our employees are very understanding, we did once have a unexpected 12 weeks without childcare and had to do the best we could in the circumstances with us, pay by the hour childcare and family help