Bedwetting - I don't understand....

[SundayNightBluesAreHere]

NC for this.

My 8.5 DS still wets the bed. Most nights. Several nights per week he soaks through a pull-up, his PJs, a folded up towel, a waterproof mattress protector onto his mattress. He is a big child, wears 12-13 year old clothes, needs teen pull-ups, etc... so it is a lot of wee.

Been dry in the day since 2 years old. No day time accidents. No period of dry nights previously so it's not a new thing. I don't know what time of night he is weeing.

He is just not aware he's doing it. He can get up in the morning and realise he's wet, but equally can get up and have to check.

I got him referred to the local continence team in Mar 2024, they said the waiting list was 7 months long. On chasing them up, they've said they are only seeing children who were referred in Nov 2023 so he's nowhere near being seen yet.

They sent me lots of info and said they have spoken to the GPs (blanket advice email to all surgeries) re: stage one interventions, one of which is medication. My GP's won't do anything as they said they haven't received anything from the continence team. I've chased them up, still waiting to hear anything.

He has a 3 night school trip coming up in March and wants to go, so we need to make some progress with this quickly. He only drinks water/milk so no blackcurrant squash to cut out. Drinks well in the day but I've had to enforce less drinking before bed but when he is at his evening clubs, they are active and he needs a drink.

In desperation and following the advice from the continence team, I've bought a bedwetting alarm and tonight is the first night trying it.

I know all about the vasopressin hormone kicking in but am confused to how that works with the alarm. The alarm trains them to wake up but if they still don't have the hormone, won't they just keep wetting the bed?

If anyone has any experience, knowledge or tips about this, please let me know! Thanks!

Have you looked here? eric.org.uk/

Think it is fairly common in boys no advice but son wet nightly til started vasopressin aged 13 which reduced it by 50%. Then aged 14 he was dry overnight and never wet again (came off the vasopressin soon after). Guess his natural hormones kicked in. Think they don't recommend the hormone too young though. Alarms at a younger age made me realise some nights he would wet after only 90 mins asleep it was as if his bladder control didn't work at all overnight.

Yes thank you, I read everything I could on there before getting a referral to the continence team. Tried to do it through their phone lines but they said it needed to come from either the school nurse or GP.

Eric website is great.

Some children, especially boys, take longer to be dry at night. Can run in families. Often they sleep more deeply. Can you try the disposable pullup pants or is the volume too large? It may very well all be ok by March. Speak to the teachers taking the school trip - they are very likely to have dealt with it before. Usually with school trips they stay up later so make sure he does a wee right before bed. Keeping everything crossed for you.

I'm hoping the alarm will indicate what time of night he's weeing so we can see a pattern. He just doesn't wake up, unlike when he was a non-sleeping toddler! 🙈

I used an alarm for my son. He was a similar age. It was hellish for a couple of weeks, I slept on the floor by his bed, but it worked, and he's never wet the bed since. Once he woke before the alarm woke him because he was wet, he'd cracked it.

I used to work at an outdoor residential centre children in pull ups / dry nights weren't unusual and we kept spares in the first aid room. The children who needed them could either sort themselves out and did so changing in the toilets or taken to their dorm by themselves or were called to 'the office' and nipped into our toilet. Whatever their teachers arranged with their parent beforehand.

Used ones were put into bags and in the sanpro bin.

If he doesn't want to wear dry nights then talk to the teacher about putting one of those toilet training pads under his bed and spare sheets to be made available

Alarm worked for us in similar circumstances. It was hard work as he didn't wake for the first few nights so we had to go in and wake him at stupid o'clock in the morning, but after that it woke him, then a week later we were nappy free.

We have done everything, alarms, all the incontinence team’s plans etc. similar situation to yours. Pushed and pushed for medication, Dc took desmopressin for 3 months and had 2 accidents since (around 6 months accident free). It changed everything and I would recommend to everyone to ask for medication as everything else we did was for nothing and difficult for child and parent. Alarm was a joke, the child never woke on time!

you can start desmopressin from age 7, it’s not a hormone!

Yes, I've found lots of useful tips on the Eric website.

Apparently his dad bed wet until 9-10 years old so it looks like it might be hereditary, although my DS5 has been dry at night since he just turned 4.

He wears a teen pull-up/small adult disposable pants now, but soaks through that and all of his bedding several times a week. He definitely empties his bladder before getting in bed, no constipation issues.

I'm hoping this alarm helps, will give it a few weeks and see where we're at before speaking to the teacher although I think I may have to regardless.

https://www.sheffieldchildrens.nhs.uk/download/303/continence/5274/desmopressin.pdf

Fingers crossed we manage the same!

When ds went to school camp I sent him with a sleeping bag per night. And black bags. The teachers washed his stuff daily very discretely.. He was dry at 16!! ASD unnoticed until 12....

You can’t ask a teacher to do this!

I struggled with my son who still wasn't dry at night at age 7. I realised he was mainly wetting quite early after going to bed. Around 90mins-2 hours after going to bed. So I started setting an alarm on my phone for 2 hours after he went to bed. I would then go in his room and wake him up and guide him to the toilet for a wee. Then helped him back to bed (as he was still half asleep!).

I did it every night for 4 weeks, then one night I forgot to wake him and he was dry at night by himself and has been every night since then.

It's been a year now he's been dry.

I know alot of the advice out there says don't wake them for a wee or take them to the toilet when half asleep but we had tried everything (except medication) and I was desperate as he was wetting through his duvet and sheets every night and with no tumble dryer in the winter the washing pile was getting a mile high. He was also getting very upset about the situation.

It might not be conventional advice but it worked for us so just putting it out there. It was a slow process but worked in the end for us.

GP's can prescribe desmopressin for short term use like school trips. They usually give you enough to try it beforehand to see if it works or if the dose needs increasing. No need for communication from bladder and bowel. Refer them to the NICE guidelines on bed wetting if they are resistant.

cks.nice.org.uk/topics/bedwetting-enuresis/

I really don’t understand how or why the alarm works - but despite my scepticism it did!

To do what?

The kid is old enough to clean up himself he just needs help in keeping it discrete.

It’s so common and normal. And he’s still so young. He’ll grow out of it in a few years, the other kids wont know he’s put a pull up on when on the trip.

Don’t worry.

I'm autistic, I wet the bed in to my teans. Ds is autistic he was incontinent in the day until the age of 6 but actually dry at night from age of 4.

My parents tried the alarm but didn't persevere so it didn't work, I just eventually grew out of it.

And ds eventually learnt to recognise the sensation and was able to get to the toilet.

If there no medical concerns I'd just persevere with the alarm it will hopefully teach him to wake

That's also worked for two children who had other disabilities I know, both of whom had growth issues. (Not neuro diversity.) One ended up being able to sleep through, while the other self-wakes around 2-3 hours after going to bed and goes to the toilet.

It took a combination of the alarm and desmopressin to get my ds dry, he was 9. The medication really was essential. Keep badgering the GP!

My dd bedwet to 13 its not every night and we can go weeks without. Gp gave laxatives then desmo tablets which we decided to stop because they have side effects.
My kid stopped drinking at least 2 hours before bed and wees, brushes etc then wees again.
As far as trips she just didnt go. It was too stressful.

You really can! I’m a teacher, I’ve looked after loads of kids who wet the bed on school residentials, there’ll be kids (mostly boys) every year in lower ks2 and most years in upper ks2 who wet the bed. Generally, we put the bed wetters together if we can and ensure we let them put on/take off pull-ups when nobody else is looking (eg put on after all others are in bed, take off after others have got up etc). There’s millions of things teachers do on residentials that are worse than stripping and changing a wet bed (heavy night time periods, vomit, headlice, poo, BO due to shower dodging year sixes and most teachers will have done all of them on residentials), please have a chat with the teacher beforehand and don’t stop them going on a residential because of bedwetting.

Mine found the alarm scary. We just washed beddings and invested in waterpeoof sheets, disposable pads. Pull ups were upsetting her so we stopprd at 7 i think.