Toxic grandparents

[XxXxsarahxXxX]

Finding it really hard in my relationship, I love my partner but his mother is awful and no one says anything. We went out today and they normally see him in the evening, last night I get told his mum wants our son at 2pm today, I said no because we already had plans. So I brought him back when we had finished so she can see him in the evening. Anyway, she hasn't seen him in 5 weeks due to him being unwell and her planning over time she was supposed to see him. And then she kicks off, apparently we are hurting her etc. Because she wanted to take him to a toy shop, but she refused to spend a few hours with him when we were free. I'm sorry but he is 4 and Christmas has just been, going to a toy shop isn't the first priority . I wanted to sort things out and such but she is impossible. 🤦‍♀️this is only today, I've had years of this nonsense

It’s not going to change unless you and dh start putting in firm boundaries. Ignore the drama. You set the date and time for her to see little one , if she doesn’t like it - it doesn’t happen end of.

Boundaries. You need to be firm. No nonense.
If she doesn't like that you offer her ignore her.
She won't change.

Refuse to engage in her drama OP. Stay away until she bloody grows up. Do your own thing and tell your other half you have had enough of his mother and your not putting up with it anymore. Your son is not a toy for her to play with or control.

Arrange a fortnightly visit and leave it at that. Tbh I would be upset if I didn't see my DGS for 5 weeks too.

I can’t comment on the years previous to this, and I don’t think she gets to “dictate” to you, but I can see that she must have been disappointed to miss seeing him over Christmas and it sounds as if she probably wanted to spoil him, as their own little “Christmas treat”. You both need to communicate better.

You communicated just fine op.

Your mil just thinks having a bitch fit will make sure she gets her way in future. Nope.

Don't engage at all.

And if she behave like this, I don't think I'd leave my dc alone with her. What if she has another hissy fit if he doesn't do what she wants?

”you both need to communicate better”

That’s a little unfair. Would argue that @XxXxsarahxXxX communicated quite clearly and that their MIL is being difficult:

”they normally see him in the evening, last night I get told his mum wants our son at 2pm today, I said no because we already had plans.”

She doesn't celebrate Christmas xx