Started potty training..not sure where to go from here

[3m1ly]

We started potty training my 2.5year old about 5 days ago.
We’re at the stage where I’m sitting him on the potty every half an hour (give or take) & most times he’s squeezing out a wee. I’m guessing that means he doesn’t really need a wee as it’s quite a small amount, but if I leave him longer he won’t tell me if he needs to go and will inevitably have an accident.
Do I just keep asking him really frequently and slowly increase the time I’m waiting, or does this mean he’s not really ready?

Doesn't sound like you're actually potty training him. You're just siting him on the potty.

You need to recognise when he needs a wee and then put him on the potty. So he starts to recognise the feeling himself and then associates it with sitting on the potty.

We did the oh crap method and would say it was done in 2/3 days at 2.5 and 2.1yrs.

Get them naked waist down, you're only job is to watch them and recognise their cues. Play tea party, with special drinks to encourage drinking. Then when they need a wee that's when you take them to the potty, quickly. They they do it themselves.

If he’s still doing lots of little wees then in theory he’s not physically ‘ready’. Your behavioural method might work though. You want to get him to go by himself unprompted as the goal. My DS has poor introspection so can’t yet tell when he needs to go to the toilet, a behavioural approach may well work better for us too.

You’ve trained him to wee on demand. Handy because there will be times where you need to do this e.g. before leaving the house and getting in the car. So don’t be discouraged. But he also needs to learn to listen to his body and the feeling of a full bladder. Asking will be pretty pointless at this stage though as he probably doesn’t recognise the feeling yet. So I’d just increase the time between potty sits. Tomorrow do 45 minutes. If that is successful make it an hour. And so on in 15 minute increments until you’re only prompting if it’s been 2 hours and they haven’t taken themselves. I did that with both of mine - starting with tries every 30 minutes, slowly increasing it to 2 hours, and it worked very successfully!

Agree with pp if you can't extend the time up to about 1.5 hours without an accident then it sounds like he doesn't yet have the ability to hold his wees long enough for potty training to succeed.

Thanks all, the only sign of him needing a wee is him doing a wee, so not overly helpful, it doesn’t help that he refuses to be naked.

When wearing a nappy he’ll go a good while without a wee, so I do think he’s physically ready in that respect.

it definitely wasn’t my aim to make him wee on demand (I don’t force him to wee, or keep him sat until he’s done a wee, I just ask him to have a try and he gets off when he’s ready).

I’ll try a more relaxed approach over the weekend and watch him like a hawk to check I’m not missing signs and see how it goes.

@Slippersandrum we stopped the chocolate a couple of days ago (when he stopped asking for one & we didn’t need to use them as a bribe 😂), he still gets lots of fuss though, high 5’s, cheers, lots of praise etc.
If I ask him to try for a wee and he says no, I just say ‘OK, we’ll try again later, let me know if you think you need a wee-wee’, and ask again in 10/20 mins.
I feel like I’ve gone totally the wrong way about it and should give up for now 😩

I'd advise being more relaxed about it.
Accidents happen and that's how we learn.
Does your DS go to nursery/childminders?
They often have invaluable advice having done this a million times with a million kids.
Seeing their peers use the potty/loo makes it seem like a game/activity and they are often very curious & want to copy. More effective than trying to mandate potty training if they aren't quite ready.

I actually think it's fine to train them to wee on demand.
In time they realise for themselves that they need to go.
Just extend the time between wees.

It sounds like you're doing it great, don't stress. It will work out fine.

Sounds like it's going well - I think 3 days to train is such a short period. Our DS took about two weeks and you just have to hang in there! Sounds like you've done well so far :) It just suddenly seems to click for them.

We first tried my son at 2.5. He resisted it and even refused drinks so he wouldn't have an accident. Needles to say we stopped.
Tried again 6 months later and it was completely different. He practically did the whole thing himself with very few accidents. It felt easy.
If you feel he's making progress, by all means persevere, I would stretch the wee intervals tho.
Also, I really didn't like the oh crap potty training book. It made me feel like a complete failure that my child didn't train before the age of 2 and within a few days.
Good luck- they get there in the end!

I’d speed read oh crap. It had some great tips and useful language to use etc. As a pp said it can make you feel like a failure if you let it, but training my second child was such a nightmare (and according to oh crap we’d have been in family therapy territory!) that I let that side of it roll over me but found it a great help for my third child.

Thanks everyone, being much more relaxed about it today & asking if he thinks he needs a wee, rather than asking him to try and have a wee.
He actually told me he wanted a wee at one point, so hopefully we’re heading in the right direction (even if I think he might have just been trying to avoid nap time 😂).
I’m still not seeing any signs of him needing a wee frustratingly - what exactly should I be looking for?!