At what point to worry about clingy toddler?

[brightlyshone]

DD is now 18 months and almost at newborn levels of clinginess and I’m starting to worry I’m not dealing with it well and that it’s impeding her development. She wants to be carried all the time - she won’t really walk anywhere except short distances at home. If I try to have a pram walk she spends the entire time crying and twisting around trying to get to me. We can’t go to the park as she won’t go on anything, if I try to put her down for any length of time she just cries. Home is a nightmare because I can’t do anything - just now trying to cook dinner and she’s hanging onto my legs crying.

It’s nice she’s attached to me but it’s so draining, I feel she isn’t getting much out of life (to put it bluntly) and that her older sibling is majorly missing out. Any tips for managing this?

Does she go to nursery at all? My two were in 4 days a week (not ideal but I had to work FT) from a year old and I found this helped their independence and skill building. They loved it too. Maybe a couple of mornings?

Do you go to any toddler groups or anything like that with her?

Agree with PP a little more re routine etc would be helpful.

Outside, walk. Reigns and go. Have you tried a trike? Parent facing buggy?

I think perhaps gritting your teeth and going along with carrying her as much as you can might be the best option. Sounds like she’s looking for attachment and reassurance and the more you try and give her that the more confident and independent she’ll become. I know it’s difficult to handle especially when you have an older child to consider.

Hello, thanks for answering.

So yes, she does go to nursery. She goes three days a week while I work and is fine there. At first she’d cry at drop off but now she’s mostly okay.

If I put reins on her I’d just end up literally dragging her around on her back or bottom - I’d obviously never do that!

On my days off I go to groups with her and I have done so since she was days old as she has an older sibling who was two and a half when she was born. I don’t think it’s that she is scared of other people, she just is really attached to me. It isn’t always as bad as yesterday was but it is a lot and exhausting. It’s probably a phase but as she gets older and heavier it’s making it all really hard work!

I remember those days. It was the closest I ever got to insanity so I feel for you. My daughter is now ten and couldn’t care less whether I’m in the room or not, but for a while if she wasn’t in my arms she’d scream.

I think it wore off as she developed her own life in preschool and just became slightly more independent. Developmentally she was a bit behind because of the clingyness but caught up when she wanted to, so don’t worry too much on all that.

Try to get as much family support as possible, even if it’s a half hour walk with her so you can have a cup of tea without all that.

Have faith, they get older fast. And I reckon my daughter will be the child who emigrates or moves the other side of the country, not my son who was very self contained as a toddler!

Thanks - yes it’s funny isn’t it? I was looking back at photos of DS at 18 months and so confident and exploring everywhere.

I mean, I think I’d only worry in about Year 2 if you really can’t pry her off you to get her in the school gates. At 18 months, this is all very normal. And they can still be quite clingy through reception year at school as it’s a big change. She isn’t really being ‘clingy’, she’s staying close to you in a busy somewhat unfamiliar environment. That’s a good thing. Those kids who are running off out of sight, crashing around, getting into everything without checking in with their parents aren’t necessarily what you want to emulate.

My son (he’s my second and youngest) was super clingy! He even slept in my bed until he was about 4! He’d follow me around the house and want picking up , always wanted to cuddle etc.
just before he turned 5 it all randomly stopped! Now he’s 8 and for the past few years he’s very independent, if I ask for a cuddle it only lasts a few seconds.

I’ll admit I miss my shadow! I’d say enjoy it while it lasts!