School/pre school issues.. worrying!

[Nicola1989s]

I think this may sound silly but I’m not sure how to feel right now. So I work full time, shift work, and my partner is a stay at home dad due to cfs/me. So before Christmas he had a week where my 8 year old son was about 10 mins late for school just due to my partner being slow and my younger daughter being a pain! The school spoke to my partner and asked if there was anything they could do to help. My partner jokingly said it’d be easier for our son to walk to school himself (2 mins away from our house) but I would never allow that anyway. He also told them he had an illness and it was just a tough week. As a separate incident my daughters nursery spoke to my partner due to my daughter coat being too thin (regatta wind shield) and also having mold on the inside (stained after washing due to mold issue in our porch). My partner explained this, plus she gets so filthy at nursery that I wouldn’t send her in nice clothes anyway! Next time she was in they gave her a coat to keep due them having loads! This has made me uneasy, more because with both things, I’m concerned the school/nursery will think we are bad parents and report us for it. I’m sorry for the long post and I’m sorry if it sounds silly but I worry about social services even though they’ve never been part of my life, I still panic! Am I just overthinking all of this?!

Don't worry, schools frequently help families who may be struggling financially. If that's not the case then buy her a new coat and return the other with thanks, but if the coat is helpful then accept it. They won't think any worse of you.
Also if you go into a school office around drop off time there's usually 10 or so children late each day, once isn't going to raise concern, they likely just saw he looked stressed and offered a kind word of support.

I think it was because he had been late all week and over the year there had been a few other occasions.. for some reason I panic about ss and am just worried in case they put a report in for these 2 incidents!

The coat thing is a non-issue. Just buy her a better coat. You could get one from the charity shop if needed. It’s an admin task for you, not a safeguarding issue. Lots of kids come with the wrong clothes or shoes or forget them at home. Just make sure she has one now. Unless you can’t afford it, I’d buy her one and return the nursery coat, then it’s sorted.

The being late thing is an issue. Once or twice, no big deal. Everyone is late a few times each term. Every day for a week is a pattern though, especially if combined with any other absences. You won’t get reported to SS necessarily, but will probably eventually be flagged for Early Help, which is like support for families who are struggling, which realistically, you are if you are regularly being late to school.

I’d see if you can work out a plan now for how to deal with mornings. I also have an illness so mornings can be rough. Often it’s simply a matter of being more organised (the night before) and getting up a bit earlier. An extra half hour in the mornings makes a difference. I then just have a nap during the day if I need it. It’s also just about sometimes you need to just get through the gates. Leave the homework at home. Put shoes on at the gate. Just hoist everyone out the door and go.

If it’s truly just a 2 minute walk, could your 8 year old not walk it? Possibly arranging to go with a friend who is also walking past? The mum in our old school who had CFS/ME organised with another family (and paid them) to collect her dc from home and walk them the 200 metres to school when she was having a flare.

My partner did mention him walking to school alone but I think the shocked look on their faces was enough to make me say no! I wouldn’t feel comfortable with it tbh. I spoke to work today and they are happy for me to tweak my shifts so that I can drop him off in the morning to make sure he’s on time. Would the school speak to us before referring for early help? They’ve only mentioned it once to my partner and from that conversation he wasn’t late again but that was only the week before Christmas. At what point does it extend further? Obviously I don’t want it to go further so willing to do anything to prevent that happening.