11yo and hair

[MinnieMountain]

DS’s hair is shoulder length (his choice). It’s very fine and he often gets knots underneath at the back whilst sleeping. He’s not been brushing the knots out properly.

I’ve been reminding him every morning. Recently I said I’d stop reminding him- he’s not always brushed the knots out. Should he be expected to remember himself by now? He’s year 6, NT.

What would you expect for a girl?
By year 6 I'd make it non-negotiable on keeping the long hair same as I would for a girl, if he can't reliably maintain it then it needs to be cut shorter.

There are things you can do to make it easier though, silk/satin pillow cases and plaiting it before bed for a start.

Ds 10 has a mun.. Much easier to manage!! Gets the underneath shaved once a month..

I agree with you @HPandthelastwish . DH thinks he should have more time, hence my asking.

DH can do the maintaining then, learn to plait it at night and brushing it properly in the morning.

DD is 10 and hates brushing her hair or having it brushed, but wanted really long hair. I finally snapped in the summer and after a mammoth session of carefully and painstakingly combing all the fucking tangles out while she kicked up a fuss, I told her she either needed to PROPERLY brush it twice a day without whinging or get it cut to a more manageable length. She decided that just below the shoulders was plenty long enough and now she brushes it in a bit of a half arsed way, but enough that it isn't full of knots.

11 is plenty old enough to brush his own hair or decide he doesn't want to but that means shorter hair.

My DS (10, NT) also has long hair, and we brush it together in the morning. Sometimes he does it on his own, but I’m happy to step in if he forgets. I also cut his finger and toenails for him, it’s not an issue for me. I think some kids just need a bit more reminding and support, and that’s absolutely fine!
On the other hand DD (11) is super independent for her age and wouldn’t dream of letting me help with things like that anymore! Just goes to show how different kids can be, even in the same family.

You could also try different shampoos and conditioners my long hair tangles far more with Pantenne and Tresemme than it does with Herbal Essence, regular trim will help too as it'll get rid of split ends. But as this a DH decision I would pass all responsibility to him.

DS always brushes his hair. The problem is if he doesn’t get the tangles underneath, they get worse and worse.

I’ve told him he’s having a chin length bob. If it’s still an issue, we’ll go shorter.