Reassurance please before I go to sleep

[Newgolddream70]

My DS10 struggled going off to sleep tonight because he misses his Dad.

For context, his Dad and I split up 8 years' ago (he was having an affair and left me) and DS doesn't remember him living with us as he had only just turned two. They have a really good relationship and we are civil/pleasant to each other so no contention there.

So, back to tonight. DS got upset because he'd had a lovely day out yesterday with his Dad and said tonight he just wishes we were all together because when he's back home with me he misses his Dad and when he's at his Dad's, he misses me. It absolutely broke my heart. Even now after all this time the break up is affecting him and I feel awful. I gave him a cuddle and told him it was perfectly normal for him to feel that way and that he can FaceTime Dad in the morning. That seemed to calm him down and he settled and went off to sleep.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has to deal with similar. Do they grow out of this? Did I deal with it in the right way? I'm sure DS will be fine in the morning but I hate seeing him like that at bed time.

If it's relevant, I don't have a partner so it's just DS and me living together at home.

I don’t have experience with this but would say you handled it perfectly, I’m sure he’ll be better in the morning.
Has your DS been seeing his Dad since you split up? Wonder why he’s only just saying this stuff now?

I think you handled that perfectly OP.
I think every child wishes their parents were together but there are a lot of circumstances where it’s just not possible.

@NewYearSameOldSameOld yes, regularly see each other. His Dad takes him on family holidays every year and he does a lot for him. We went to the school Christmas performance together. DS is with me the majority of the time and has said before 'I don't see Dad as much as I see you' so I think maybe it's a bit of separation anxiety. He was also like this after he'd returned from a two week holiday with his Dad last year.

Well it’s good he sees his dad regularly. I think all you can do is reassure him, like you have done. Hopefully it’s just a phase he’s going through at the moment, he’ll be ok.
Get some sleep, you’re doing great 💐

Thank you ☺️