Remind me, when does it get easier?

[bluebells1234]

I'm at home with a 3 week old and an 18 month old. My partner and I need reminding of when it gets easier! We've both just managed to brush our teeth (3pm). At least the children are dressed 😂

It's OK at that stage I'm at?

Ds is 21.

[Solidarity]

I only have 1 child. She has just turned 3 and we have found the bit between Christmas and NY very chilled out. We even managed to play some board games (adults) while she played alone with her toys or watched tv in a different room

Depends solely on the child. My eldest is 20 and she's hard work still. Middle is 15 and youngest is 12 and they have both been a walk in the park for years and years now. You're in the trenches with two so young, it will get easier.

You are at the incredibly hard stage. Mine are 17 and 20 and I just found it gradually got easier as time went on. I know people say the teenage years are worse, but I found your stage a lot harder. The teenage years have been easier than a toddler and baby for me.

I think 3.5 ish mine started to get slowly easier, at 6.5 she's generally easy. Still the occasional tantrum, and still needs a lot of playing with though.

Not easier, just different but almost certainly more enjoyable. Toddlers are hard work, as are newborns, but they are also the source of such joy. Try not to feel any pressure and just enjoy your babies.

My dc are 19 and 21, I'm not sure it gets easier just different!

My mother when asked this question by me when I was at pretty much your stage thought for a bit. Then she said, I’m not sure it gets easier, but it does get different. And mine are now over 30 and my mother was right.

it never does, ime @bluebells1234 😆

You just swap the trials and tribulations, at every stage, to different criteria.

It is all totally fabulous though, could never imagine a life without them.

You’re at a tough stage.

I seem to have blinked and missed the ‘easy stage’ though!

Ours are 18 and 16 now and while they’re obviously not physically needing our help any more, the stresses are very different and the stakes feel much higher.

When the youngest is about three IIRC.
Having said that I had them both in nursery from a few months old and went back to work pt each time. It was a whole lot easier even doing that.
Mine are 22 and 19 now and those first early years I still think were the worst.

I've found it gets easier and easier from school age (dd is 13 now). I found 18 months-2 years the hardest.

I agree that you still worry when they are older. But I found the relentless demands of the early years and being run ragged got easier.

In my experience the stage you are at is incredibly difficult. I have 3 teenage ds, and found having one toddler and a new born was harder than having a 4year old, toddler and a new born! In fact I would say it was the hardest stage I went through (until teenage years which is a completely different kind of difficult!)

I found having a strategy for each situation useful - new born was often in a sling and when old enough in a bouncy chair. I could not trust ds1 with ds2 so often the baby was in the play pen for his own protection. I used to think about what situation I could resolve the quickest rather than who was crying the most. I am afraid tactical use of TV was rather common.

This stage won't last forever. Newborns generally get easier at about 10 weeks and things will get more into a routine.

I have the same age gap and I remember how hard it was having an 18 month old and a newborn. It’s an absolute killer being up all night with the newborn with an active 18 month old during the day.

Just survive as best you can for the first year. I found it easiest to be out of the house a lot. Toddler group in the mornings, home for lunch then park or something in the afternoon. A couple of days a week in nursery for the older one and a cleaner if you can afford it. I’d use the days she was in nursery to rest at home with the newborn as much as possible.
I found the first 2.5 years with them really tough as my youngest is a terrible sleeper but they’re three and four now and great pals. It’s still busy but much easier now

I remember having a 7 week old and 2.5 yo at Christmas. Hell. Toddler was just constantly lurching from over excited to meltdown and the newborn was being a newborn!

DC are now 5 and 3 and it's not easy as such, but the good far outweighs the bad. In my experience it starts to feel more manageable once you can get a bit of sleep, which for me was around the 3/4 month mark (and I do mean a bit of sleep, not a whole night!)

Our daughter was much more engaged earlier on than our younger son, so this timing could be off by 6 or so months, but at 18 months they began to use some of the same playground toys and engage each other. At 2 and 4.5 they are finally on the upswing and mostly playing together, but still lots of changes to come. 6 months through 18 months with a 3-4 year old was bloody brutal though. We barely saw each other, it was straight up divide and conquer with a child each.

mine are 22 and 26... still waiting for the 'better' bit...