Leaving child at nursery - anxiety

[Kaaldane]

Hi, looking for some support if possible. My 1 year old is due to start nursery next week and I’m absolutely terrified everytime I think about it I cry. She’s doing 3 days a week but I’m really struggling with the thought of having her over to strangers. She’s a mummy’s girl and is attached to me most the time, won’t smile or interact with new people. I keep telling myself it’ll be good for her to interact with children her age etc but I feel sick at the thought of it. I worry so much that she’ll think I’ve left her or won’t settle without me. She’ll go to dad and settle with him but not always if she gets too upset she’ll only have me. I know I’m over thinking it but all I feel is awfulness and this fear that she’ll be upset and no one will be able to console her and she’ll be wondering why I’m not there to cuddle and comfort her. My husband is really supportive and understanding when I’ve shared my views but I’m due to go back to work so it can’t be helped, I’m just absolutely devastated about the thought of it let alone leaving her there.

It will all be ok - I felt the same with both of mine but it does get so much easier. Have you been able to go in for settling in sessions with her?
I found it much easier second time round because I knew that the first few weeks would be tricky, that it would be strange for both of us, she'd get coughs and colds, I'd feel like an awful mother and try to work out a way to change jobs and that then it would all settle down. She will start to form bonds with the staff there and get used their routines.
Do they use an app that they will share photos on / meal and sleep updates, etc.?
Be very kind to yourself, it's a massive change for you both but it will all work out xx

It will all be ok - I felt the same with both of mine but it does get so much easier. Have you been able to go in for settling in sessions with her?

I was going to ask the same. Has she had any settling in sessions @Kaaldane?

Doing two settling in sessions this week and then the whole of next week. It’s just the dread of her being with strangers and them not being able to comfort her or thinking that I won’t be coming for her when she’s sad

@TinyMouseTheatre @redteapot

I promise you it does get easier, remember the staff there are all really experienced and know lots of different ways to comfort the little ones, you will be surprised how quickly she adapts and hopefully she will really love it! There are so many new experiences, things to play with, arts & crafts to do etc at nursery, she will have a brilliant time and being around the other kids will be so good for her.

Settling in sessions are good. It will give her a chance to get used to the set up.

I always think that the worry of going back to work is far worse than the reality.

In a month she'll be settled and you'll be back into the swing of things at work and you'll probably enjoy having a lunch break in peace

Ask yourself, if you need the money then do what you have to, but if it's feminist fiddle, then be a SAHM and raise her yourself.. And go to stay and plays.

Or think about how good it will be for your daughter’s intellectual and social development - how much she’ll learn being in a different and new situation ( that’s how young children learn) and how it will open up new things and relationships for her.

And that this is part of being a good parent - thinking about your child, not just your own feelings.

As others have already said, the thought of it is often far worse than the reality. My DS started just after 1 and he was the exact same, only ever wanted me and hated being around other people in general! His settling in sessions went badly, and I just cried every day at the thought of it all. Within a week of starting, he was all smiles and would put his arms out for the staff as soon as we got into his room. Fast forward to now, at nearly 3 years old, he loves it. Has made some lovely friends and I can honestly say it was the best decision for all of us. If you'd have asked me at the start if I wanted to be a SAHM, I would have jumped at the chance but now I can see it really is good for us both.
I won't promise it will be easy initially OP but as everyone has already said, it will be fine, just got to get through a tough couple of days/weeks first!

Stop thinking of them as strangers, you'll get to know them well and they'll form a bond with her. My little.boy who is nearly 6 still talks about his key worker from when he was 2!

It will be fine, they are extremely experienced at helping toddlers settle in and they won't be strangers for long as she'll see them three days a week and get into a routine.