2.5yr old naps

[Wolowl]

My DD is 2 and a half and has never napped well. She only ever napped in our bed, never her cot. Nap time is normally around 2/2.30 which I realise is late but when she dropped her first nap it was the early one, so we just went with it.

It's always a fight and I hate it, it's always been a fight too - not just recently. Today it took me an hour to get her to go to sleep and we were both upset at the end. I've always felt terrible about it but she just messes around.

My DH can get her to sleep a bit easier, but not by much. When she's with my parents she messes around more so often just doesn't nap at all.

I know I must be doing something wrong, but it's been going on for so long and I've tried so many different things I'm at my wits end. I know she may well be close to dropping her nap now, but she still needs it. Bedtime is between 7/8pm and generally can't be earlier as I don't get home from work till 6.30 and she's at nursery prior to that.

I don't drive, but even when we are in the car she can keep herself awake by singing/chatting for ages, so asking DH to drive her around doesn't work when he is home.

She will eventually nap in the pram, but again, it takes ages for her to fall asleep and 1/2 the time she will just fight it till I'm exhausted and give up.

She mostly sleeps well, not always straight through, with a couple of wake ups for a drink etc sometimes.

What am I doing wrong, is there any way to fix it?

Drop the naps. Or you could gradually drop them by doing it every other day. Build up her stamina sort of thing.

My 2.5 year old stopped napping at nursery, 2 days a week, a couple of months ago. Those evenings were hell for a while, but he gradually got used to it and we found bedtime on those days much easier, and bedtimes on napping days far harder.

He's now having a daytime nap maybe twice a week, and usually only after he's slept poorly at night or been awake early.

Does she need a nap? Not all 2.5 yos do. Mine both stopped napping at about 2yo 😩

Thanks both!
I think she still needs a nap, otherwise is crazy in the pm. She also wakes up early so sometimes it's a must.

She still sleeps at nursery with no issues. I just can't deal with the messing around. We're at my parents today and tbf it's all been a bit much, but she had a tiny nap, then messed around at bedtime and didn't go to sleep until 11pm. It's so much worse for me, she does behave better with my DH at bedtime.

I just feel terrible about it and that I feel so cross/frustrated afterwards.

How long does she nap for? It's very late in the day to still be expected to sleep by 7:30

If you think she really does need a nap, try capping it to 10 minutes or no more than 30. Consider doing no nap once a week for a while as she transitions out of them - my eldest did that for several months before dropping them completely.

Also, by that age mine wouldn't sleep in his bed at naptime (we had just taken the bars off the cot and that was it), so we cuddled on the sofa so that he fell asleep for 10 minutes. It was all about sneaking the naps in!

DS dropped his naps at just over 2 during COVID because he wasn't burning off enough energy. When he started nursery at 2.5, the naps would creep back in on days where he'd been extra energetic but never regained their every day necessity. Their behaviour is a bit rubbish to start with when they're learning to adapt to a whole day awake but it certainly sounds like she's ready to drop or at least reduce. Have you tried putting her down later for less time? Eg 3 for an hour?

Thanks for all the replies. I have been trying to be less stressed about the napping since I posted.
Dd didn't nap on NY day, needed one the next as she fell asleep in the pram while we were on our way to the park.

No nap the next day, she managed fine although we had people over + went to the playground so it helped keep her mood up. Although by 6ish she was stumbling around a bit as she was tired. Bedtime was easy that night!

She napped both Saturday and Sunday as she seemed to really need it, I did try and get her to go earlier after lunch, so by 1.30ish which worked. However my DH was home over both days and actually got her to sleep as she was starting to mess around with me. So still an issue there. Both bedtimes were good despite the naps.

She didn't wake up till nearly 7.30 today which was very unusual so not sure if she was just exhausted this weekend/recovering from the busy day + no nap on Friday.

I think we'll just to take each day as it comes. She's still napping at nursery the 3 days she's there so that should help I suppose.

What time is she napping at nursery? It surely can't be as late as you do it at home, they'd want them all napping at the same time at that age, probably around midday.

Yeah it's 12ish onward I think. They have lunch at 11.30, which is too early at home most of the time depending on what time she got up/what she's eaten/what we're doing. Although we normally have lunch at 12 as much as possible, and over the weekend she went up for her nap asap after. Normally I give her a bit of time to play & digest which is why the naps ended up later.

I'd probably try to have lunch as early as possible and then get her down straight away afterwards. She won't have loads of time to play and digest at nursery, and that seems to work better if she's having a good sleep there and bedtimes are okay at home.

My older DS had already dropped his nap by that age, but we still mainly stick to nursery timings at home and he's used to eating at 11:30 so would get really grumpy if he didn't have lunch by 12 at the latest.