Is it ok to be breastfeeding all night long??

[BeTwinklyTealPanda]

Hello all,

Second child who is 12 weeks old only wants to sleep at night with boob in mouth.

Same thing happened with my first and we've done so well not to fall into the feed to sleep trap with naps, however, when it comes to night time, she knows what she wants. I put her down every night in the cot and she wakes up within 10mins. By the time I have her settled again I'm too tired to risk her waking so just lay with her in bed. Co-sleeping and feeding laying down was working great as it meant I could sleep better without having to get up and bounce or rock her. Some nights I can feed her and then have my own space in bed and she sleeps a 3 or 4 hour stretch. More often now, she will have my boob in her mouth for an hour and if she feels me moving away she will start crying and rooting for the boob. This means im awake most of the night switching sides and my back and neck are in agony from being unable to move from a side laying position. I read everywhere that 12 weeks is too old to sleep train so do I carry this on until she is 4 months old? Am I not just reinforcing bad habits? I have noticed that she does this when she has had a long nap in the day time like for example today she slept in the pram from 10.45am to 1.40pm. Is this a vicious cycle where she keeps waking in the night and feeding and then is catching up on sleep the following day? She is also pooing once a night due to all the feeding! Any advice or success stories would be appreciated.

I don’t really know. But try just you and your baby sleeping in the bed so you can swap the sides you are laying on and sleep with a pillow between your knees. It’s easier on your back.

I think feeding to sleep is brilliant, not a trap/bad habit! I fed my son to sleep until he was a toddler. Meant I could have a lie down as well, it was great. Sleep training ‘programs’/books/influencers make a lot of money trying to demonise it imo.

I was too scared to co sleep with my first but since my daughter also prefers to sleeps within .5 cm of a boob I’ve just leant into it this time. I have a pregnancy pillow from Bellamoon which helps keep me in a safe position and also supports me better than regular pillows. I do sleep on my side anyway, so maybe that makes it easier.

Would baby take a dummy? My dd was like this and a dummy was a lifesaver for me!

It's up to you but i absolutely couldn't do that. Always fed to sleep but then it was straight into cot for 4/5/6 hours until the next feed.

When did comforting someone vulnerable become a bad habit? It is definitely not a bad habit! I'm wondering where this comes from?

Do whatever works for you and your family. It'll be different for everyone. For me, I co-slept/breast-slept with my babies, even once they were in heir own bedrooms, if they woke I'd still bring them into my bed with me to maximise sleep for everyone, then return them to their own cot/room when I next woke up or hey unlatched (whichever happend first). My youngest is 20m and still feeds to sleep - it's my favourite cuddle of the day 🥰

Totally totally normal. And it's not a feed to sleep trap, it's what she's programmed to do and what your milk helps her do - use it to your advantage! What I would do though is get a decent pillow so your neck isn't cricked.

Try a dummy? I had the same problem but can only feed from one side, my back was agony. I just had to persevere with taking ds off the boob, he got used to it and also will take a dummy sometimes instead, which helps.

It's ok if you're ok with it.

How does dad settle baby? Could you try that or what you do at naptime?

Also if you're saying wait until 4 months to sleep train I think even the very gentle, no cry/ stay with them methods recommend 6 months as a minimum.

Both of mine coslept and feed constantly until I got fed up at about 8 months and night weaned/ moved into own room/ sleep trained. But I've got friends who were happy to continue cosleeping and feeding all night until their kids were 2/3years old. It's up to you.

It's really fine and normal as long as you're happy. I ended up giving mine a dummy after a few weeks because they wanted to constantly feed in the evening/night and it would make me sore.

It is just me and baby in bed. DD is in bed with DH so they can be fresh for work and school and not get woken up.
Thank you so much for suggesting the pillow in between then legs. I've used it the past 3 days and have had no back or hip pains!!

Thank you for your suggestion and for saying feeding to sleep is not a trap or bad habits. This is just the sort of language we are always bombarded with and I agree with you - lots of people out there trying to make money from sleep deprived parents.

I did this with both of mine with no problems.

Yes she won't take it with me. However when my mum has had DD for a couple of hours she took the dummy as there was no option of a boob. I then managed to get her to take it for the occasional nap but more often than not she would spit it out. I've just tried again tonight after she started searching within 10mins of separating from her in bed and it just made her more angry!

I would be too worried about suffocation at that age, it would be a dummy for me.

That's very lucky. I tried the next to me cot for about a week but she would wake up within 5 mins of placing her down. I tried feeding her to sleep and then waiting half an hour with her in my arms to ensure she was in a deep sleep.

That's very sweet and I agree with you. I'm all up for comforting as much as possible as they are still so tiny.

Thank you, yes a decent pillow makes all the difference!

Dad settles baby just by holding in a outward seated position or side laying. Although when I try it she gets all wriggly and searching for the boob haha. Dad doesn't do nights with me as he is out of the house from 6.30am to 7pm but if there is more crying than usual then he will come in to take over and DD goes quiet straight away. It's like she just needs a change of person. Thank you, i also bed shared my oldest until 6 months old but it got to a point where she regressed and was waking up every 45mins to feed and that just wasn't sustainable.

Perfectly normal and no reason not to carry on if your happy with it.

Sleep training doesn't work when they're this little. Unless you CIO and then all they do is go quiet because they think they've been abandoned

I’m so glad it helped. I was told this my a physio. If possible try and swap the side your on a times a night too.

I never managed it for naps but always for nighttime sleep which was a big help xx

I read everywhere that 12 weeks is too old to sleep train so do I carry this on until she is 4 months old? Am I not just reinforcing bad habits?

She barely knows she's a separate person! She's far, far too young for 'bad habits' to be reinforced. And who on earth is recommending sleep training before 12 weeks (!)? Whoever they are, you can safely dismiss them as neither knowing nor caring about babies' needs.

I fed mine to sleep until they were 2 (years!) or perhaps older. We bedshared safely. (At some stage I could put them down in the cot/cotbed asleep and they would stay asleep, but that certainly wasn't at 12 weeks). The PP is right that it's exactly what they're designed to do. Tbh I saw it as the easy way. They started falling asleep by themselves with no trouble once they were good and ready.