Irrational fear or justified?

[ForAquaGuide]

I have 1 month old and I'm scared about going out and about with them because I feel they're too young and have an unpredictable routine at the moment.

I have been out with them a few times but have been caught off guard with them needing a nappy change, crying out or feeding and not having anywhere to go or fearing that what they have on isn't warm enough due to the weather right now.

Other half was suggesting today we go out but as if on queue, little one had a whole session of feeds and changes, meaning he had to go by himself to do errands etc

Truth be told I was relieved little one wasn't in a state to go out then because it helped to illustrate how going out whenever we want to isn't possible right now. I like being home with them because we have everything here. I am exclusively breast feeding at the moment and I'm waiting until they're 6 weeks to start pumping and bottle feeding.

But I don't know if I should just go out despite how I feel even if little one isn't. I think also due their age and the weather right now they're more vulnerable to illnesses etc, I don't want to risk them getting sick this early on.

I don't know if my need to be home is reasonable or irrational and I need to just push myself to just do it or if I am reasonable to wait until they're a little older and in a routine where it'll be easier to tend to them once out and about.

I guess you've gotta do what's right for you but even after 12 weeks. It's still unpredictable, babies cry, randomly want feeding and things just happen.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself, as long as you've got spare clothes, nappies, wipes and boobs you're good to go.

However if you're happy just being at home wait till you're ready.

There's no rules, congratulations 🎉🎈

It’s ok to stay in but babies and children remain unpredictable for a long time. The only way you get better at dealing with it is practice. So it would be worth starting to challenge yourself a little bit, otherwise you might find yourself trapped in and isolated for a long time.

perhaps your dh was keen to spend some time with you as well.

Give yourself time to find your feet. You’ll get there. There’s no pressure to do anything. Just enjoy spending time with baby!

In the first few weeks it is hard to find a gap to do anything in the feed, nappy change, nap carousel! It is nice to get out for a change of scenery though. You might leave later than you expect to. Easy trips are best. I liked a big department store with parking nearby, nice baby changing facilities and a comfortable café to breastfeed in. Or the library or a museum. Once you get used to breastfeeding it is very easy to do out and about, if you can't find a café sometimes there's seats by the tills in supermarkets, the sofa section of furniture stores (choose a wipe clean sofa), a bench or the car. People will often give up there seat for you when you have a young baby. I've never had a negative comment in two years of feeding in all sorts of places, some nice comments and even offers of free drinks! Dress baby in layers and take blankets so you can add or remove them as the temperature changes.

One month is so little!
stay at home and take off the pressure! Get your sleep in when you can and maybe just do outings you feel comfortable with - spaces you know you will be able to feed/change nappies/put to sleep etc.
only thing i regret from newborn phase is not soaking up the cuddles more and just setting boundaries for me and baby.
it can get boring to just be at home but we would sometimes just go for a short drive, get takeout or strap him in a carrier and go for a walk at nap time.

it will get easier!

Everyone is different but there are plenty who will barely have left the house only 4 weeks in to their first baby, especially if breastfeeding and they are feeding what feels like constantly. So don’t worry. There are no rules and you’ll find that the prospect will feel easier once you feel ready. And it’s hard with your first baby. I know I felt like mine might explode at any minute with something they needed that would be super stressful to deal with. But you come to realise an unexpected nappy change or feed isn’t the end of the word and you get used to dealing with it.

There's absolutely no need to stay home. But equally no need to go out if you're more comfortable at home. Go easy on yourself, you've just built a whole human being and now you're getting the hang of mothering.

But whenever you're ready to explore baby will be just fine.

Agree you need to practice and the only way you learn, like everything, is by making mistakes! Nothing bad will happen but there may be a few tears along the way (you're, DH and the baby's!)

Pack a bag at night with changes, nappies, muslins, wipes etc and head out. Spare blanket and you can always layer up briefly with muslins / your own scarf etc if you're worried about cold. And obviously removing hats / layers once you're inside.

That way you also learn which areas have good baby change, well laid out cafes etc so you can go there more regularly and avoid the places with crappy toilets and tables too close together to move the pram.

As someone who combi feeds - BFing on the go is mostly easier! Start at easy places (John Lewis and big Tesco & Sainsbury's stores have parent rooms with a comfy chair to feed in with the baby changing). Take a changing bag with enough nappies and changes of clothes for several changes. You will grow in confidence for feeding in public.

I ended up having to take the baby out a lot alone in the first month for various GP & HV appointments, and found it helped my confidence - I HAD to be out, so I might as well go in a coffee shop or supermarket in the way home. People will often bring food and drink to your table. No one has ever said anything or been weird about me feeding (be it breast or bottle).