Advice needed please - baby knows what it wants and will scream until she gets it

[Carseylove]

Hi All, after advice,
i have a 12 week old girl, she is my second child my 1st was 10 years ago so feel like a complete novice, she fights sleep during the day, I have to rock her to sleep while she is crying to stay awake and as soon as she is fast asleep and I put her down she wakes up within 10 minutes crying then I need to try and get her to sleep again ( it’s like she hates her Moses basket) the only place she will fall asleep is her moving pram or on someone (mostly me but dad aswell) however on a night she will sleep from 10ish for 6/7 hours straight, then another 2/3.
she fights a dummy it makes her gag and sometime makes her scream even more,
she screams when her dad tries to get her to sleep if she wants me, to the point she makes herself sick.
what do I do, should I let her scream it out because we have tried it and she would just keep on going, won’t stop, or should I just give her what she wants, it makes it really difficult for me to do anything during the day,
any advice please that would be great?
she sleeps in a next to me crib at night and is breast fed

thank you for your advice it’s nice to hear from other mums going through the same thing, as soon as the pram stops she wakes up, guaranteed as soon as I take off my shoes and jacket she crying 🙈 I have been letting her sleep on me during day and now she has been screaming when I put her to bed at night when she was going down and sleeping for 6/7 hours, my hubby actually had to get up at 6 this morning to take her out in the pram so I could get a sleep as she wouldn’t settle again after a feed 🙈 any other suggestions/advice?

She’s only 12 weeks, very new still. Sometime you just have to go with what they want. My first slept on me at night time for the first few months, and contact napped until she was 9 months. She wouldn’t have anything else until she decided at 9 months that she would nap in her cot and do so until she dropped her nap at age 3.

My second DC wasn’t the same and napped in his cot from an earlier age and went in his next to me when he was a newborn, different babies like different things.

Your baby is telling you that she needs physical contact and movement. Put her in the carrier whilst you do your normal things, awake or asleep, to meet her needs for closeness and movement. Keeping her upright will also likely help. When you are getting home with her in the pram she is waking up because movement is needed to reassure her and help her feel safe. Putting her in the carrier will meet all the needs and you can do other things as well. Other people can use it to settle her too. And by the time the evening has come hopefully she is topped up with all her needs so will go down for a few hours sleep for you.

fingers crossed xxx

This is so sad, a 12 week old baby isn’t trying to manipulate you or “knows what they want”

They need cuddles, contact, comfort.

try and work out her “sleep signals” - signs she is getting tired and put her in the baby carrier (or just enjoy cuddles on the sofa!) if she wants contact. Some babies need more cuddles than others, even though it was the hardest time I do miss it.

What are you going to try?
You haven't quoted anyone.

Use a baby carrier. Soak up the cuddles. It will pass.

Mine lived in the sling at this age and coslept (I was breastfeeding and wanted milk at least every hour overnight but was losing weight ... eventually found milk allergy). Is on his second night ever in his cot as we speak and is over a year old. If he wakes and wants into come into bed with me then that's what I'll do.

Crying BF 12 week old = feed more. You can't overfeed a breastfed baby

Just an update if anyone sees this thread and looks at the advice, I let her do what she wanted which was sleep on me and suckle at the breast all day, she has not slept the same since, we are now down to waking up about every 3/4 hours, she wants my nipple in her mouth to get over to sleep all the time so she is screaming when I have to unlatch her as it becomes sore, when before she was able to fall asleep with just a pat or rub of her hand.

First of all could be 4 month regression. Second, mine was waking every 30 min at this stage and wanted my nipple like this and turned out to have CMPA, which was also causing reflux.

What if dad takes baby for a bit?

Dad will take her but she screams none stop, so essentially cries herself to sleep

3-4 hour stretches are still brilliant. Lots of babies sleep decline at this age. Mine woke hourly from 6-18 months. They get there in the end.

Have you tried using a sling to give her the comfort she needs whilst you get on with life? You can even feed in there.

Is it a growth spurt ? - they suckle more to get milk supply up for a week or so.

Some babies apparently do have much higher need to suck - so do well with dummies. Any teeth coming though as sucking I think helps with pain - any gum bumps?

If you have a good HV - might it be worth a chat or if any BF support groups nearby.