Sinking as a Mum

[Maggi44]

Hey guys, just said I'd come here for a chat. I went back to work after maternity leave a few months ago and it's so so hard ....my child barely looks at me anymore he just wants his Dad cause he's the fun one ! I come home from work and go straight back to work managing the house. Cleaning,tidying up, shopping lists etc. Now my husband is absolutely fantastic, he works full time and is a saint but I just feel it's different for us Mums.

In work where I manage a very small team, there is one girl who was obviously very much ruling the roust while I was away and she made a few changes that I have had to change back and BTW my own manager backed me on them! Her bee is obviously in a bonnet cause she has an actual manager there now and she has to do a bit of work..I've gotten attitude off her more than once and then 5 mins later she's nice as pie . My own 2 bosses don't like her for other reasons too. I just feel I'm sinking like a fish and there's no end.

Anyone feel like this?

The work issue is crappy but I think I'd start with the home situation. You need to divide everything in the house, and that's mental and physical load tasks, equally. Otherwise you're going to build in resentment and hate life.

What housework is dh doing each day?

Yep - went back in nov after my third (three under 6). Return to work is always hard but this one has felt relentless. I’m holding onto hope it will feel a bit calmer after christmas.

im making an effort to just play after dinner until bedtime and leave jobs until later (I’ll do jobs after work and while cooking tea, and after bedtime). Mine all love daddy too. I think he’s a bit more novelty than me. I work school hours so I have a few hours before and after school with just me but that’s when all the boring and hard stuff happens (getting ready for school, reading school books etc.) whereas daddy is just there for nice parts. He’s also a total pushover and just lets them watch telly 😭. He’s better at playing than me if I’m honest I have to really try, for him it’s very natural.

the work thing, my attitude has totally changed and I try n
to let office politics go over my head and crack on doing a good job without getting involved - having got the time, head space or inclination to be involved in office politics any more!

fingers crossed things improve for us!

I think it's the work situation that's the main problem. Going on with a knot in my stomach to work isn't fun