7yo always extremely disappointed

[Drearycommuter]

i have DD7 and DD3.

my 7 year old struggles when things aren’t as she imagines they will be. For example this morning. She asked me to do a very elaborate hair style. I said I couldn’t do that one as it was beyond my ability and I didn’t have all the clips. Cue her being completely crestfallen. We then agreed for me to do another one. I gave it a good bash but obviously it didn’t look exactly like the picture and she cried.

lots of the day goes like this and it’s really dispiriting. I do a lot to please them and yet they’re rarely pleased. Sometimes I stop doing things but that feels like a bad solution. Any ideas for how I can manage her expectations / build resilience? And also what I can do in the moment to stop myself just feeling tired and exhausted and how I never quite manage to please her despite my best efforts?

How was your language whilst doing her hair? Were you negative about it? Make it fun. Suggest getting some YouTube clips up and doing each other’s hair to practice.
Explain that practice makes perfect and that we learn from failures.

My 7yo dd is hard work and hard to please too, if that's any consolation!

My 9 year old has always been a bit like this, whereas my other daughter is always hugely pleased and grateful for everything! It can be wearing. I’ve told her that it puts me off doing the nice things for her, because I know she’s going to be disappointed afterwards. She has learned to temper her reaction now she’s older, and if she does get frustrated because it’s not exactly what she expects I suggest she takes herself away to calm down for a while.

There are a series of CBT based workbooks on Amazon aimed at kids called, ‘what to do when…’.

This one might help?

What to Do When Mistakes Make You Quake: A Kid’s Guide to Accepting Imperfection

Is she spending a lot of time online? The difference between the picture perfect impression given online and reality is difficult for everyone to process but especially for children, it creates some big emotions

"Mummy is only human. If I had magical powers, we would live in a rainbow castle on a cloud with a huge swimming pool and I would ride a unicorn called Fluffy".

Tell her that you're looking forward to seeing her walk on water next time you take her swimming and just jumping in and having a good time absolutely won't suffice. Gotta be walking on water or nothing.

Thanks all. She doesn’t spend lots of time online but I agree it prob doesn’t help.

will check out the book.

it’s just so wearing!