How to mend relationship with teenage daughter

[ThisDaringHedgehog]

My 14y daughter is quite often rude and dismissive of me in front of her friends, I have tried to ignore this for the most part. The other day she had her friend staying over and I found myself getting into a text argument / misunderstanding with her over what she thought I had agreed to and what I had agreed to in my head - was asking to be driven from one location to another and then another ( basically as a taxi). I have always tried to accomodate this as I want her to feel I will she can ask me for rides in the future when she really needs it. This one day I was tired and I felt she was twisting my words in her texts. She ended up calling me on the phone with her friend was there and I was drawn into a phone argument about this. I could hear her friend who was staying at her house laughing at this in the background and I started to get angry and upset with my daughter about this on the phone. I feel like I should have just risen above this but at the time I didn’t. I have tried to explain to my daughter it was because I felt like I was being used - she started off the day being really grumpy and rude to me in front of her friends and I still took them where they wanted and picked them up shortly after to take to their next destination ( it was a public holiday so hardly any buses) and then I felt like she called me for a confrontation in front of her friends and her friend was laughing at me and this made me feel hurt). She denied this and said it was not her friend laughing but it was someone else. I could hear her friend distinctly on the phone so I feel she is saying this to make me feel like I am in the wrong. Anyhow she now says she will never bring anyone to stay at our house, she will never ask me for help again. I have said sorry to her and said that I got angry as a result of the misunderstanding on both parts and if we had communicated with each other better about the plans for the day it would likely not have happened. How can I explain to her I still want her to bring friends over and I will still take them places I just don’t want to be made to feel I am being walked over in front of her friends?

I would take all that with a massive pinch of salt. You've apologised, don't keep falling over yourself to 'prove yourself' or she'll remember that provoking you til you snap will end in you feeling guilty and will do that again in future.

She's 14, and you're a parent willing to host. She will definitely have friends over again, and is probably being melodramatic (so many teens do!) ~ in future, if she's behaving sulkily/rudely hold your ground and don't provide lifts for non-essential activities unless there's an attitude change.

You can make the amends you feel are appropriate
then draw a line under this treating it as a lesson in human interaction
stop punishing yourself by re visiting the situation you can do what you can to fix it look at the part you played does it require action don’t over think or overcompensate this can lead to more imbalance there’s no point in wasting time on worrying about how others react if our actions are based on trying to resolve a situation over compensation can be a mistake!