How independent is your 5/6 year old...

[BloodyGhosts]

When it comes to going to sleep and getting up in the morning?

My almost-6 year old DD still won't fall asleep on her own (neither will 3yo DS, with whom she shares a bunk bed). More annoyingly, she rarely gets out of bed by herself in the morning and will call to us until we go into her her. We've told her not to, and that she's old enough to get up by herself, but nothing sticks.

The evenings I can handle, but the mornings are driving me mad - it's such an irritating way to be woken up each day.

What's typical at this age? Just trying to get a sense of what I should be expecting from her, before I start getting tougher with her about it!

No one's said their six year old goes downstairs by themselves have they? Some have mentioned they play independently in their rooms and a few have said they go downstairs with older siblings but I don't recall anyone saying their child goes downstairs alone whilst they are still asleep...

My six year old goes to sleep on her own after a story and a song. She was a terrible, clingy sleeper until about 2.5 (I had to sit stroking her hair) then one day informed me that I could go now, and she's gone to sleep on her own ever since. She often asks to sleep in my bed, but that's an occasional treat. In the morning she'll come and get in bed with me, but only after 6.30. She'll also go to the toilet in the night and go back to sleep.

They haven't on this thread but on Mumsnet generally a lot of people will encourage their very young children to do it so they can lie in.

My 5 year old will get himself dressed in the morning but he does come in to us not go downstairs alone and this is my preference

My just turned 5 year old will brush her teeth and get into her own pyjamas under supervision. I read her a story and then leave. She’ll listen to her toniebox until she falls asleep (usually about five minutes) We stopped staying until she fell asleep around 18 months. She gets up in the morning and comes downstairs, morning routine is still completely dependent on me except for tooth brushing but that’s a fight I’ve given up on, she’s just not a morning person.

My 2.5 year old will have a story and then chat to herself in bed with some white noise for ten minutes or so before going to sleep.

That being said, kids are nature AND nurture. Don’t use one person’s routine as a rod to whip yourself with. No matter what you do, different kids have different needs. For the sake of getting a bit of your own life back, it does feel like 6 is old enough that you can ask him what he might need to settle himself to sleep alone, and offer some of the things this thread have listed as their bedtime routines.

I've genuinely never seen anyone suggesting a 5 or 6 year old goes downstairs alone and have been using this site for over a decade.

It seems an odd thing to have commented on when not one person has suggested it.

Our 6yo has story and then we leave him to fall asleep (usually with something to listen to on his Tonie box). Very occasionally he'll sit up and draw for a bit but usually falls asleep within about 10 minutes of us leaving the room, I'd say.

In the morning, he wakes early but stays playing in his room until he hears one of us on the landing. He does then sometimes take his portable light downstairs by himself and put the TV on, but we're awake so not far behind.

This thread includes someone who did it with their 2 year old..

And I have seen a lot of similar ones on here

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4755688-to-think-we-shouldnt-leave-kids-unsupervised-while-in-bed

My 5 year old occasionally goes downstairs alone, depending on whether her 8 year old brother has woken up or not yet.

She comes into our room first to ask if she can go down so we know she is down there. She makes herself a drink or juice from the fridge and watches tv or her iPad until someone else gets up.

I don’t see why anyone would think this was unusual? She doesn’t need constant supervision in her own home at 5!

My eldest is 6. He can fall asleep on his own and does so when it's just me doing bedtime and dh out working as he knows I need to look after his little sister too. But when dh is with us he lies with ds as a nice treat.

In the morning ds yells mum from his bed and nothing I've tried has cracked this! Hopefully he'll outgrow it soon as it's annoying!

Since my eldest was 5 or 6, they've been "allowed" to go downstairs & occupy themselves but the "deal" is that they must ask first - if only so I know that's where they are. They used to rise early around 6am (now I have to drag them out of bed on a school day!) which to many isn't early, but when you're getting home from work at 3am & DP is leaving for work at 7.30am, every minute of sleep was precious!