Why is he like this

[HowToDoItt]

Can anyone explain why my 10 year old is so argumentative and constantly trying to cause arguments or put people in a bad mood or upset them? It’s every day. I was sat downstairs happy earlier but no now I’m up in my room in a bad mood because he is constantly picking fights. Today it was who got the most presents and who got the least well he was moaning that my youngest got the most bare in mind her items were like £3/5 like key rings, pens and slime and he is moaning that she got more than him when he doesn’t like stuff like that and doesn’t play with toys meanwhile he got a tv, then he said my other daughter got the least yet she got a brand new iPad! All it is, is negativity from him. He just constantly tries to start arguments. He complains if my youngest sits next to me on the sofa! I’m so fed up of it. And then if I shout I am the bad one yet he has constantly and repeatedly pushed my buttons all day. I can’t be happy because he doesn’t let me. He is always so negative genuinely one of the most negative children I’ve ever come across and I just don’t get it. My other children are not like this.

It sounds like he's jealous of his sister, does she get more positive attention than him? You also have to remember hormones will also be at play, rather than getting annoyed ask him if he would like his toys donated to a less fortunate child.

No she doesn’t. I treat my children the same. He has older siblings and they are not like this and have never been.

It sounds like he's wanting some attention. How often in a day do you interact with him without him initiating it and in a positive way? It should be many more times than the number of times you interact with him negatively.

Again it’s not me starting the negativity. If anyone has any advice rather than just parenting blaming that would help. I have 3 other children who are the complete opposite so obvious it’s not my parenting to blame. He gets attention he is just never happy no matter what I do

I'm not blaming you, it was a question. So, what you're saying is that he gets lots of positive attention from you, more than any negative interactions (whoever initiates them). So you don't feel that it's anything to do with that.

What happens if you just let the negative comments go? So rather than retreating upstairs in a bad mood, just continue doing what you were doing downstairs?

🤔