Worry about how kind my child is

[Mayyyha]

I know this might sound a bit silly, but it’s something that’s been on my mind. My daughter will be 5 in a couple of months. It’s just the two of us at home most of the time, though we see her grandparents very regularly. She is such a kind little soul. She always shares her sweets, and today, when she had five packets of chocolate buttons, she gave one to each of us. We saved them for her, but honestly, she melts my heart. She’s so generous with everything.

I do worry, though, that people might take advantage of her kindness. I also want her to feel confident in saying no when she wants to. She’s generally very good at speaking her mind and can certainly have her moments, but I’m trying to teach her some balance. For example, at school, it’s important to share because the toys belong to everyone, and she can say things like, “You can have it as soon as I’m finished.” But when it comes to things that are hers, I want her to know it’s okay to say no if she doesn’t want to share. Sometimes, she’ll share something and later tell me she didn’t want to, so I want to help her feel comfortable being assertive. She’s currently awaiting an autism and ADHD assessment, but I’m not sure if that’s even relevant here. Does anyone have any advice or tips?

Also, she brought me to tears today. She walked into a room filled with Santa gifts, and the very first thing she did was climb over them to get me the present she had picked out for me. She wanted me to open it right away and sat watching me, not even touching her own gifts until after. I had to fight back tears. I never expected any child to do something like that. ❤️

I feel like this with my youngest. She is 8 now.

I’ve drummed in to her she doesn’t need to be kind - just fair. She also gives a lot of her stuff away in school.

She also feels a lot - so worries about other people’s emotions - I’m working on by telling her that it’s not up to her to fix how other people are feeling especially adults.

I split up with her dad when she was 4 and I wonder if that’s anything to do with it as i think he uses her for emotional comfort eg .. ‘I feel better when you give me a hug’ ect..

I spoke to my therapist about it and she said it’s learned behaviour. Maybe she has been praised too much in the past when she has done something kind or your emotional behaviour ( like filling up) when she does these things makes her believe that’s the way she has to be to get your ( or others) approval or admiration.

It’s hard being a parent but most of it does come directly from us.

A lot of the children described on here could take a leaf out of her book. She sounds fab.