Reduced School hours

[118bd]

I've name changed for this as potentially quite outing. DD is currently on reduced hours in school, they are really struggling with her behaviour, I suspect ADHD and we are currently working on the referral for that. I fully support the school and really appreciate all the work they have done previously, they've tried so many 'tactics' to deal with her explosive temper and poor emotional regulation, but what I'm really after is advice on is how I manage this with my employer. She's been on reduced hours now for about a week prior to school breaking up, and potentially will remain on them until late Jan (and maybe longer if needed)

We've managed for the last week of school with a combination of relatives being off work, A few bits of AL I had left to take and DH & I juggling work and DD. I'm lucky that I am mainly remote with occasional office trips but obviously I cannot work to full capacity with DD being home from 12 every single day, she also used to do after school club until 5 pretty much every day, so I'm effectively losing 5 "full" working hours a day. She's only 6, so whilst doesn't need my constant attention she will only entertain herself for a short while at a time. And she does have some screen time the last thing I want to do is start relying on that and her getting too much of it.

I coped last week with it being a lot quieter in work and working until 9/10pm most nights to catch up on anything I'd not got done. However I know in January this will not be feasible or sustainable. How do I approach with my employer? I'm wondering whether to ask for a reduction in hours temporarily (cannot afford to work part time permanently) or look at parental leave, or just explain everything to HR and see what they suggest.

Just wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation, I've now finished for Xmas yet can't let go of the dread of January approaching. It's such a rubbish situation as I do agree with schools reasons for the reduction, and want the best for DD, but I'm also so stressed about how I manage work (and finances)

If you post in SEN there will be posters who can advise on how to manage things.
School can't just reduce hours because they can't cope, it would be illegal exclusion.

Parental leave will be unpaid so you’ll need to work out if you can afford that. Unless your workplace has paid parental leave.

She had already been suspended for her aggression, lashing out at teachers and breaking things. It's heartbreaking but I do understand that they can't tolerate that

My contract is very ambiguous tbh. Not very clear on parental leave at all.

So they need to be putting support in place, and if they have exhausted all their options they need to apply for a EHC Needs Assessment. Have they done that yet?

The school need to try different tactics. Her behaviour is being triggered. My son had this when he was 5. The school could apparently cope in the mornings but not all day. They were shit! Have you had meetings with the senco? What have they said?

Not helpful for the immediate problem but when they get the referral in, you can use the right to choose service to try and fast track her appointment. I found out about it about a month ago, we're currently just over a year into my son's 2 year wait so it's not worth doing for us but might make a difference to you!

Ask about parental leave

I absolutely agree with this, and with the support being provided for your DD.

What support do they need to put in place for her to be able to cope to enable them to catch her before her emotional disregulation occurs? Can you potentially change schools? (I had to with my children as my son was not being given the correct support, and being stuck in the library all day. Day one of a new school and he had all the support he could need and was so much more settled!).

Re: work. I would speak to your manager / HR and see what options there are. Could your job be done in unsociable hours for a couple of months to give you a bit of le-way maybe? Or could you afford childcare for a couple of days a week perhaps to enable you to reduce your hours only 3 days per week? Or could DH change his also to assist in accommodating your DD being home? That could be an option too if you are worried about reducing your hours too much. Or if you can do your job in unsociable hours, if you could do your job from 7-9pm when DH is home, he can take over watching over your DD.

Personally I would in that time, push back to the school and tell them you cannot afford to continue on reduced hours, and tell them to put a plan in place to increase your daughters hours WITH SUPPORT so that she can cope, and attend full time. Give them a time limit that suits you and not them, else they will take the easy route. I’ve always refused a part time timetable for my son - they need to put the support in place to enable him and them to cope!

Keep us posted x

If you have to work this won’t work long term. You need to let the school know they need to come up with another solution. Maybe you pick her up at 12 on Wednesdays to give her a break midweek. A friend has a daughter with ADHD and she was sent home every time there was an issue. The poor kid was sent to high school with an education level of year 3.
DD needs regular breaks and a quiet area to regulate.