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Original poster

Single mum dad abandoned child

12 replies

Crazylife38 · 22/12/2024 23:00

Hi all just wanted to see if anyone has been through similar and any advice. So my now ex partner walked out on me 12 weeks ago he was consistent with our ds now it's stopped . Iv found out why , he's got a new gf already ,worse thing is one weekend he promised our 2yr old ds he'd see him he never did then was seen with a young lass I was livid iv gave him chance after chance but always broken promises and let downs so iv cut all contact with him regarding our ds , worst thing is is he's now chose this 24yr old who's 12 years his junior ( hes 36 in jan) and no kids no ties over his own child , he doesn't support his child financially yet is taking her to swanky hotels etc I'm abit hurt but I'm more heartbroken for my ds 😢

OP posts:
aloha0 · 22/12/2024 23:01

It's understandable to be hurt.

Apply to CMS so he at least has to financially support his child.

WhoopsNow · 22/12/2024 23:06

Go through child maintainance, so he contributes to his child.

I'd keep the line of communication open. You don't want to be accused of stopping contact or alienation. Only communicate about you child nothing else.

You need to put your hurt aside. Your feelings about the relationship ending or his new GF are irrelevant. All that matters is your child's relationship with their dad. You can't force him to step up, but you need to try to facilitate contact.

Also, never tell your DC that they are going to see their dad and tell him not to make promises he's not going to keep.

HowToDoItt · 22/12/2024 23:18

This happens a lot, I hear people say when a man suddenly wants to see his kids it’s “because he is trying to impress a new girlfriend” but my ex like yours would be the total opposite he would have no interest in our kids if he had a new relationship. Sadly you get use to it my ex hasn’t seen the kids in 2 years now

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Original poster
Crazylife38 · 23/12/2024 07:03

@WhoopsNow tried all that he's really not interested one bit at all he's done this to his other 2kids aswell he just does not care one bit told him he needed to financially support his child and he just laughed at me if you say anything about him not seeing his child enough etc all you get is a barage of abuse and told to f off @HowToDoItt awful isn't it iv tried and tried and he's just not bothered.

OP posts:
BlackChunkyBoots · 23/12/2024 07:12

If he has a track record for this then the only way you are going to get anything out of him is via the CMS. If he pays up. Men like that need the snip, ffs.

I hope your boy has other positive role models in his life OP, like grandads, uncles etc.

Simonjt · 23/12/2024 07:15

Crazylife38 · 23/12/2024 07:03

@WhoopsNow tried all that he's really not interested one bit at all he's done this to his other 2kids aswell he just does not care one bit told him he needed to financially support his child and he just laughed at me if you say anything about him not seeing his child enough etc all you get is a barage of abuse and told to f off @HowToDoItt awful isn't it iv tried and tried and he's just not bothered.

Edited

So you’ve got three with him, the youngest being two and no cms for any, nevermind seeing them? Is he at least a PAYE employee so you can go to the CMS?

Jingleberryalltheway · 23/12/2024 07:18

Simonjt · 23/12/2024 07:15

So you’ve got three with him, the youngest being two and no cms for any, nevermind seeing them? Is he at least a PAYE employee so you can go to the CMS?

Show quote history

I think OP only has one child with him but he has walked away from other children.

Original poster
Crazylife38 · 23/12/2024 07:30

@Jingleberryalltheway yes he has 2 to his ex partner who I get on with really well he has also binned them off too now , @BlackChunkyBoots yes he has my family etc and also his brothers and sisters :)

OP posts:
Edingril · 23/12/2024 07:38

If he has a record why on earth did you have another with him?

Seek legal advice, same thing we have to say daily on here

Original poster
Crazylife38 · 23/12/2024 08:44

@Edingril I said he's now done it to his other two , always people like you blaming the mothers isn't there so glad your life's perfect and you never get to experience anything like this

OP posts:
Jingleberryalltheway · 23/12/2024 08:50

Crazylife38 · 23/12/2024 07:30

@Jingleberryalltheway yes he has 2 to his ex partner who I get on with really well he has also binned them off too now , @BlackChunkyBoots yes he has my family etc and also his brothers and sisters :)

Was he previously properly involved with his other children or did he just see them every other weekend?

Meadowfinch · 23/12/2024 08:59

Op, put in a cms claim immediately. Nothing else will work.

Thankfully your DC is still very young. He will soon lose any expectation of seeing his dad. It's tough, I know, I've done it, but the good thing is you will be able to raise your child without your ex's toxic influence. You can raise your child to be thoughtful and considerate and loving, instead.

When your DC learns to ride his bike or swim it will be down to you, and the pride & credit will all be yours.

Good luck xx

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