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Original poster

When should baby be able to be transferred without waking up?

27 replies

JinglingBells0 · 21/12/2024 15:37

My baby has just turned three months. If he falls asleep on me, he won’t/can’t be transferred to either his dad, a Moses basket, a crib etc, without instantly waking up. Even if we do it very slowly/gently with the patting and shushing and pressure etc. So if he falls asleep on me, that’s it until he wakes up. At what age should he be able to be transferred without waking up please?

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SJ89SJ · 21/12/2024 15:39

My almost 6 month old got more reliable with this from 4 months and can now be put in his cot tired and fall asleep there. Hang in there!

DustyMaiden · 21/12/2024 15:44

I was just talking about this to my 24 year old DS. At 6 months I could do this if I left my cardigan with him . He then started wrapping my hair around his hand so that I couldn’t sneak off.

Justme2023123 · 21/12/2024 15:52

1 of mine never did, the other would be happy to be put down half asleep, but then she had a dummy whereas the older one didn't.

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Bankholidayhelp · 21/12/2024 15:55

Erm never? About 5 years old..

Afraidofhimrightnow · 21/12/2024 15:58

Never managed it with any of mine either.

FirstTimeMum1608 · 21/12/2024 16:03

During the day or night? My 4 month old is fine at night - I learnt I was holding her for too long post feed, she settles more reliably if I put her down in her crib as soon as she’s stopped bf. But during the day is a whole different story and we’re confined to contact naps or naps in the pram. I have no idea how to get her to nap in her crib!

comfyshoes2022 · 21/12/2024 16:08

Never in my experience…

comfyshoes2022 · 21/12/2024 16:08

And actually harder to do it when older and less sleepy all the time.

Original poster
JinglingBells0 · 21/12/2024 16:14

Gosh, thanks for all the replies! Bit worried that it might never happen though… 😳

In my antenatal group, literally all of the other babies are doing it apart from mine. I mean some are even sleeping through whereas my DS will only do two hours at a time!

OP posts:
Original poster
JinglingBells0 · 21/12/2024 16:15

I’ll try putting him down sooner @FirstTimeMum1608

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Greeneyegirl · 21/12/2024 16:24

With mine, from birth at night she was fine. She'd feed to sleep and then go in her cot. In the day she napped only on me until 9 months old and wouldn't transfer. At 9 months I sleep trained her in her cot for day naps because I was going back to work in a month.

PocketSand · 21/12/2024 16:39

I can remember this 'phase' even though DS1 is now 24. As soon as I moved a fraction when he seemed to be deeply asleep his mouth would clamp tight onto my nipple and I was trapped.

I eventually gave up trying to resolve it and worked around it til it was no longer an issue. I remember watching a lot of Frasier. Giving up on the angst and stress was great in retrospect.

LoafofSellotape · 21/12/2024 16:40

I was always able to transfer ds. I don't know if it's because he was prem so was used to not sleeping on me.

LittleRedY0shi · 21/12/2024 16:50

The way we cracked this was using a breastfeeding pillow. DD was quite happy to sleep in my arms, but lying on the pillow rather than my lap, which was a little less contact, more similar temperature to the cot. When asleep, I could shift her away from my body gradually and if she did stir, she was content again when she realised she was still close to me. Eventually she'd be asleep in my arms but not up against my body and wouldn't notice the change when we put her down. Worked just as well with DC2 and DC3.

Original poster
JinglingBells0 · 21/12/2024 16:52

To add, this is an issue day and night. He’s never slept in his crib because he always wakes up when he’s put in it. (I rue the waste of money so much!)

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Original poster
JinglingBells0 · 21/12/2024 16:54

@LittleRedY0shi so you had the pillow on your lap? That’s a good idea about the temperature difference.

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LittleRedY0shi · 21/12/2024 17:16

JinglingBells0 · 21/12/2024 16:54

@LittleRedY0shi so you had the pillow on your lap? That’s a good idea about the temperature difference.

Yep, on my lap with DD, and my arms around her, resting on top.

Tickettothemoon · 21/12/2024 18:40

It’s so hard but try not compare with the other babies in the group. Every baby is different and they all have their own little personalities.

DS is nearly 4 months, I have to bounce him around like crazy until he is in a deep sleep or his eyes will shoot wide open as soon as I move to put him down in his crib, and then we are lucky if we get more than a 2/3 hour stretch. In the day time he will only contact nap.

Whereas DD was consistently sleeping 8ish hours by the same age.

I haven’t done anything different this time round so I really do think it has a lot to do with their temperaments.

3 months is still so little, it’s tough being in the thick of it but he will soon get the hang of it, sleep changes so much in the first year. Hang in there, maybe try the different things PP have mentioned and hopefully you’ll get some use of the crib soon!

zebranotzeebra · 21/12/2024 18:47

It took a while, a couple of tips that helped me - putting a hot water bottle in the crib to warm it (remove before putting baby in obviously!) and doing the floppy arm test before putting her down (lift the arm and if it flops down, transfer). I still use the floppy arm test on my two year who I still cuddle to sleep on my bed at night. Happily, I can now transfer her to her cot and she'll sleep there all night, so it happens eventually!

partygarden · 21/12/2024 18:51

Depends entirely on the baby in my experience. You can't will it, you either have a fairly chilled baby- who allows for transfers- or you don't.

With my ds1 (who is now 6) was a crap sleeper, I literally transferred him ONCE from the car to his bed when he was about 3. I was so ecstatic I took a photo and sent to my husband, it was an absolute victory. Still remember that specific transfer vividly 🥰

Ds2 does it basically every nap, no problem. He will sleep through anything. I didn't do anything differently so yeah, think it just depends on the child.

Squeezetheday · 21/12/2024 20:24

Depends on the child, my 8 week old has no issues with this but my oldest who is now 5 screamed blue murder as a baby at being put down in her bed! It got easier as she got older but I think up to about 18 months one of us still had to sit in her room as she went to sleep. We still laugh now about trying to sneak out of her room in the dark on our hands and knees so she couldn’t see us leaving 😂

Yuckyyuckyuckity · 21/12/2024 20:31

DC1 was able to be put down pretty much from the start (although did go through a few phases of waking up when put down). I think we had a lot more patience back then and tbh I think I was stricter than I realised with not contact napping, I didn't even realise it was a thing!

DC2 totally different story. Able to be out down at night from about 6 months but even now at 8.5 months is difficult to put down during the day for naps. Sometimes he will stay asleep when transferred to the cot but not for long and I just know the nap would have lasted longer as a contact nap. He naps very well in pram, car or carrier though, as did my first.

WeaselPax · 21/12/2024 20:35

Seconding the hot water bottle suggestion! I found preheating the crib makes a big difference, especially in winter.

mumtoababygirl · 21/12/2024 20:40

my baby is exactly the same OP so no advice just sympathy!

Narkacist · 21/12/2024 20:46

Mine put their hands on my pulse so they knew if I left them. (They still do sometimes, the younger is 6.) So it only worked once I stopped feeding to sleep at 6 months.