Toddler suddenly won’t sleep in her own bed?

[redfox14]

DD has been sleeping in her own cot in her own room since 6 months. She’s 22 months old now and in the last week, she has been waking like clockwork a few hours after bedtime (11pm-12pm) and will not go back to sleep unless we bring in her into our bed.

She’s also started resisting going in her sleeping bag, when we try to put it on her she gets really upset and says “stuck”, but when we’ve tried her with a little toddler duvet she kicks it off and doesn’t seem to be able to settle with it.

She’s normally a bit teary when she wakes up but normally we’d be able to give her a cuddle or some milk and she’d go back to sleep. At the minute she’s absolutely hysterical and does not want to be in her bed. Trying to put her back down in her cot she screams the house down and throws her toys and dummy. She will only settle once she’s in our bed and then goes to sleep again fairly quickly.

We’re at a bit of a loss as we have never co slept and she is normally a really good sleeper. We don’t know whether this, and resisting her sleeping bag is a sign she’s ready for a bigger bed - but then she doesn’t seem to like the duvet? Is this some sort of sleep regression? She’s not teething or poorly, her routine hasn’t changed… I have no ideas what to do!

We've just been through the same, but mine would only sleep if I lay on the floor next to the cot for nearly a month. We resolved it with 2 nights of 'sleep training' e.g. going in at intervals to reassure but refusing to lie on the floor / put him in my bed etc. Now he's back to sleeping through. Also struggled with the duvet for the first few nights so added a vest for extra warmth and now he's got the hang of it! The sleeping bag being a little small was definintely waking him up (along with teeth, illness etc!)

@shardlakem I’m glad to hear your little one has started sleeping through! It’s so hard isn’t it.

DH and I are getting a bit desperate now after over a week of terrible sleep, DD is in our bed every night and now isn’t even settling to sleep but just very upset and waking through the night. Hoping that it will pass soon as we are all going to be very tired for Christmas this year!

She’s learning that if she ramps it up she gets what she wants. If you don’t want her in your bed you are both going to have to explain to her that she needs to sleep in her own bed. It’s awful when they get upset but you both need to realise you have to take charge of the situation. Comfort her but ultimately if you don’t want her in your bed you need to consistently put her back to in hers. I remember peering through the crack in the door with the kitchen timer set to 5 minutes so I knew how long I left her but I knew she was safe. It’s not easy but it’s doable within a couple of nights..

It she having nightmares? Is there anything she needs reassurance about?

I'd be pretty strict about having her stay in her room but possibly have one adult on a camp bed in her room for a couple of nights if she needs reassurance from nightmares. Alternate which parent does the job so the other can sleep.

We had one who was really clingy . We compromised and he had a ‘special’ bed. Duvet folded up on the floor of our room by my bed with a blanket on top to snuggle under. He desperately wanted the reassurance of being close and slept well this way. So did we. They are not little for long.

This is really common just before 2. I was told there’s a lot of language development right around then, so their brains are on overdrive doing all the processing at night. I don’t think there is a magic trick other than riding it out. Do whatever works to get as much sleep as possible. Can you co-sleep with her in shifts so you both get at least half the night undisturbed? Put a mattress on the floor in your room? If you couldn’t sleep and were upset, you’d want reassurance from someone too and not to be alone, so it only makes sense.

We had this too around age 2, similar to previous poster I didn't want to co sleeping or be in room for ages, so we just kept putting him back in the cot and popping in and out to reassure. Bit of crying but went back to normal in a few nights.

@parietal unfortunately she’s not at the stage of speaking where she can tell us if she’s having nightmares, when she’s really upset like that and we go in to see her she just says our names and “up” as she wants to be held.
@JohnMcClanesVest @mindutopia @olympicsrock She does have a pull out sofa bed in her room so I may have to sleep on there for a couple of nights, it’s just strange as she’s been very independent in terms of sleep for such a long time. I’d like to try the going in and out of the room but she is absolutely beside herself screaming so not very nice for her, us or the neighbours!