Really struggling about what to do here and have massive mum guilt. Changed username btw as could be outing with other posts of mine.
I'll try and keep it brief. We are an international family and have been flying between UK and Europe for the past 15 years. DS included, ever since he was 6 months old, at least 3 times a year. Out of the blue this year he was really teary whilst boarding the flight, saying he doesn't like take off and doesn't like when the plane is banking, doesn't want to go and wants to get off .He cried until we reached cruising altitude and it was heart breaking, he was absolutely petrified and sobbing bless him. But was fine as soon as seatbelt signs were off and he was happy, chatty, walking, playing etc, landing absolutely fine too, no issues. Same on the way back. Histerical before and during take off but fine otherwise. This was 5 months ago now.
We are going away again for Christmas visiting family, and I'm at a complete loss as to what to do, every time we mention going on holiday, he has a massive meltdown, not tantrum, but sobbing, crying saying he doesn't like it and he wants to go by car, he's not getting on the plane, he is staying at home etc. I feel like the worst parent on the planet for putting him through this. I don't know what happened, he used to love it and was so excited every time we flew, we often plane spot and visit the local airfield etc so it's absolutely nothing new.
What do I do?! Any ideas, tips from perhaps professionals? On one hand, I don't want to enforce the fear by saying ok we don't go as I feel he needs to overcome this, but on the other hand, I'd seriously contemplating not going as I absolutely hate seeing him like this and it breaks my heart!
We had a chat again about it tonight, we spoke about the mechanics of the planes, what it is that he is scared of, he keeps saying he doesn't like the feel of it and he is definitely not going. I said we'll take his headphones, his iPad, treats, games, snacks, or we can close our eyes and just cuddle until take off is over and then we can relax and play lots of games, and how amazing it will be to see the cousins and grandparents when we land and we can give them hugs etc.
So I try and stay positive but if you saw him, it's not a tantrum and whingeing about not going. It's fear, and I really don't know what to do.
He is a very aware 4,5 year old, his memory is amazing, he is very articulate and perhaps a bit too old for his age. I'm only saying this as I definitely can't trick him into anything as he knows the bloody route to the airport and will recognise it the minute we get into the city. As well as flying, we collect family multiple times a year so we do visit the airport quite frequently.