4 year old not going to sleep till after 9pm! Is this the price for a late riser?

[Keha]

My 4 year old, nearly 5 is rarely asleep before 9pm. She shares a room with her 2 year old sibling and whilst she won't actively try and wake her up it means I can't quite leave her to own devices. She doesn't wake up for school before I wake her up at 7:45, on a weekend we'll wake her up by 8:30. I wondered whether her late nights were because she was overtired and giddy but now I'm just wondering if she is not really tired till getting on for 9pm. Anyone else have a child on a similar time table? How do you manage your evenings? What if they share a room???

At that age she should be getting 10-12 hours sleep a night so she’s just getting enough sleep and only you know what works for your family but my daughter is the same age and she goes is asleep for 6:45/7pm every night and sleeps until 6:30ish but it can be 20 minutes either side but I’m an early riser so test works for us.

Mine slept midnight till noon as a baby and 10:30pm till 8am as a 3 year old. She started full time school just before 4 and adjusted to 9:30pm within about a week.

We’re a family of owls. She’s 14 now and absolutely lovely. :)

(I’d have sent her back if she was an early riser like her best friend.)

She is getting the right amount of sleep - just shifted later. The only thing you need to be concerned about is her not disturbing the toddler.

My 4 year old is a bit like this at the moment. She was mucking around until nearly 9 tonight (got into bed at half 7 but had several wees, lay there muttering to herself etc). I’ve just been up to check on her and she’s asleep in her brother’s bed with him which means they’ll either be lovely and quiet playing together in the morning or they’ll have a falling out at 6am.

I have to admit we’ve been a bit too relaxed about waking them up in the mornings, so sometimes they aren’t getting up until nearly 8 (definitely doesn’t help that it’s still dark then!), which is definitely impacting bedtime. But I think it’s also that there is a lot of excitement this time of year, they’re shattered at the end of term but also wired, there’s definitely more sugar than is optimal… it’s a bit of a perfect storm of factors.

Yeah its the price you pay to not have early mornings! My eldest (also almost 5yo) needs a lot more sleep than most children his age but most of his peers sleep 10hrs overnight from what their parents say, though most of them seem to be early risers.

We have the opposite problem of DS1 needing a 6pm bedtime (to wake up at 7am for school), but if I put DS2 (2.5yo) to bed at that time he'd be bouncing off the walls by 4am. And understandably, DS1 doesn't fall asleep quickly or easily when he knows his little brother is still up (they also share a room). If it was the opposite way round like it is for you, I'd just keep 4yo up downstairs for a bit in the evening - enjoy the chance to play with them and read together. I miss my 4yo so much, feel I barely see him now with school and his early bedtimes!!

Yeah my 5 year old doesn't like to eat dinner till 7m30 pm amd go to sleep before 9pm. We get him up about 7.45 am. He seems happy as Larry and he's never woken me up at 5am for a play

Yep most of the time you have to choose between late to bed or early to rise! DD1 (5) does 8/8.30pm to 7am, which is fine with us I do not want early risers, I no longer operate before 7am

It sounds fine. They need 10-12 hours at that age. You can't expect your child to settle early and get up late.

Mine were at bed at 7.30 pm and up at 6.30 am at that age.

DD1 slept from 9pm-7am at that age, and she managed fine with 10 hours. We preferred it as it meant she had plenty of interaction with both of us after nursery, I would have hated to collect her and rush through dinner and bedtime without any real play time after DH gets home. She has her own room as DD2 is still in with us, but DD2 seems like a night owl too so I'm not too worried there.

I get my own chill time/productive time in the evenings after their bedtime as I'm rarely in bed before 2am as a night owl!

Yes my DD is the same, sometime a struggle to get her up on weekdays but I'd rather that than an early riser. I'd have lost my marbles long ago if I had one of these 5am kids

Thanks everyone, was a slightly earlier night tonight but think I will probably have to roll with it and make more of the evening rather than spending ages trying to get her to go to/stay in bed. Might take the little one up first as someone suggested. Glad other people have a similar timetable as everyone I know seems to have their children asleep at 7:30.

My 3 year old goes from about 9pm til 7:30am, I have an older one so it works for us them both going to bed later.

I struggle with early wake ups too so a later bed time works fine for me.

My 3yo goes to bed no earlier than 9pm and wakes up around 8am. Dropping naps as well and still keeping these timings. We're also a family of owls. Can't imagine him going to bed at 7pm as other kids do!

Everyone else I know have early bed and early rise. I definitely think children that age need around 11hrs sleep so you pick what suits you. I loathe early mornings - my dc has only woken up before 7am a couple of times in their life. They are also 4 and go to bed around 8.30pm to wake up around 7.30am but it can be later.

My 2.5yo only needs 10hrs 15 mins in 24 hours at the moment. That's 10.45pm to 8ish and a 45 min nap. We have to wake her up every morning as she would ideally sleep midnight til 9am I reckon. We have tried all sorts to move it earlier and it just doesn't work! My mum says I was exactly the same as a child and I have always been a night owl so I'm practising radical acceptance and just accepting it. When she's 4 she'll need even less so it is what it is! No evenings for us but at least no early morning either.