How do I tell my 4yr old that the cat's being put down on Friday??

[babydriver]

OK, bit of a sensitive one here. Any tips? We've started paving the way about how the cat is really old and not very well, but how do I explain that the vet is actually going to bump her off so DS needs to say goodbye to her on Friday morning?? It's not the death bit that's the problem, but the actual putting down, IYSWIM.

I'd say he was very ill and the vet couldn't do anything to help him. You don't have to say the vet killed him. Just say he's gone to kitty heaven to play with all the other cats that have been ill and died.

I believe in honesty, but only up to a point. I think to a four-year-old the 'putting down' concept is a bit hard to grasp and worrying and may trigger other fears. Why not say: we are taking her to the vet, she is very, very ill, the vet will do their best to make her better but may not be able to so perhaps you should say a special goodbye, just in case?

Like the others said.

I wouldn't tell him he's being put down.

Agree with Rosa.

Our dog was put down as she was rapidly deteriorating. Our DSs were 5 and 3 at the time. We explained that the vet had come to put her to sleep. The 5 year old was completely devastated and still gets angry with me and DH for 'getting the vet to kill his dog'. We explained over and over again that she was old, in pain and we did it to be kind, but I think he was just too young to understand the concept of being cruel to be kind.

You won't be lying to him if you do as Rosa suggests.

BTW DS was at school when the vet came incase it sounded like it all happened with the DC there.

thank you, thank you and sorry for the double post. Like Rosa's approach - and useful to have the cautionary tale from mimizan.

Have you seen 'Goodbye Mog' from the Mog series? it is a beautiful story and explains the death of a cat really well. We used it when we lost our cat last year and dd still asks for the story regularly.