Hi all,
I am just looking for any advice on what steps to take with my current situation surrounding my daughter and her father. Apologies for the long post.
for context:
- I had my baby girl in August this year
- her father (we aren’t together and haven’t been for nearly 2 years. We would see each other on and off until I fell pregnant.) refused to have anything to do with me and blocked me throughout my entire pregnancy, accused me of lying about who the father was, begged me to get an abortion multiple times, threatened to end his life if I kept her, his family blocked me out of their lives and didn’t want me to get my baby. He refused to come to the birth.
- I was told the only way he would have anything to do with the baby was if I done a DNA test, which I did.
- He is an unmedicated bipolar
Now my daughter is here, he arranged to see her twice a week at my house (a Tuesday evening and during the day on either a Saturday or Sunday). So far, he only seems to come on a Tuesday for 2 hours max. And constantly bails on the weekend to either be with his mates or do his hobbies or be with his girlfriend who he got with when I was 8 months pregnant. He asked to change his weekend day to a Thursday evening but so far he has only done 1 Thursday evening and the other he stayed for an hour because he booked to get his haircut that same evening. He only changes her nappy, and baths her with me but still requires help to do these things and dress her as he’s not confident. He visibly does not understand her hunger cries, tired cries, check if her nappy needs changing etc and depends on me to tell him.
I do not let her out of my sight and only allow my mum and sister to care for her as I live with them and my daughter knows and recognises them. Her father and his family are now demanding I let them have her by either themselves or himself. They do not want me in their home and expect me to drop my daughter off to them/him and leave. She is a 4 month old baby who I feel needs her mum and I personally do not feel comfortable leaving her with them as she does not recognise him as her dad or know his family because they do not bother to see her. I have never stopped any of them seeing her in my own home and have always been accommodating to them but they do not wish to see me.
the father is now claiming he is getting legal advice and can pick my daughter up and take her whenever he wants. He has not bought or contributed anything towards her upbringing (has no car seat, cot, pram etc) and expects to use everything I bought myself. He constantly makes sexual innuendos towards me when around our daughter and uses her to make them. For example, she had milk round her mouth during her feed and he made an inappropriate comment to me about it.
He lied and said his partner does not live with him but she does and I feel she is feeding him with thoughts/advice on how he can get my daughter on his own and introduce her to his girlfriend which I have said no to, as he constantly has new partners and I don’t want my child having people walk in and out of her life.
He pays me £250 a month and told CMS he only makes £22k a year as a 30 year old carpenter. He has admitted to me he mainly does cash jobs and makes double £22k. His flat is £2000 a month alone.
I wondered if there’s any help I can get and my what my rights are in this situation and be pointed in the right direction as it’s constant bickering and threats to take her.
thank you!