How to handle situation at school

[thaisweetchill]

My son is in year 1 and since going back in September we've had a few incidents at school and I'm unsure how to handle them going forward.

Firstly, he was scratched quite badly on his face in the first few weeks of going back.

Second instance in October was a child in his class pulled his trousers and pants down in the dinner queue.

The third instance has happened today where 3 boys pulled his trousers and pants down and held them down as he was trying to pull them back up.

The teacher rang me today to let me know and I did mention this had happened previously and I'm worried it's becoming an occurrence. She thinks it's 'immaturity because of their age (5/6)'. Plus, I'm sure more has happened that I've not been made aware of as my son will only tell me when I've brought it up.

It's broke my heart today thinking how upset he must have felt as he said they were all laughing at him when they did this. I've told him to stop playing with them and play with another lovely boy in class who he does usually play with.

How would you handle this? Would you speak to the parents? Would you make the teacher get the parents in? We never had any problems in reception so I'm getting worried.

I'd definitely be escalating the issue with it being the second time (at least this term). I'd ask for the peer on peer abuse policy too. Appreciate they're only young but it's targeted and some work needs doing with the children who are pulling the pants down of their peers.

How bloody awful for your DS.

I wouldn't speak to the parents personally. It never works and it is the school who are failing to safeguard your DS.

I would read the school's safeguarding policy and their bullying policy and then write to the HT outlining what had happened so far and what they are going to do to safeguard your DS in the future. Preferably email it in so that you've got a trace of it being sent and delivered and ask for a response wiring 7 days.

I'd also cc in the Govenors.

I hope you get on ok

I would ask for a meeting with the headteacher and safeguarding lead. The boy(s) are targeting your child's private area by pulling his pants and trousers down and this kind of behaviour needs to be strongly nipped in the bud. 5/6 years old is old enough to know this behaviour is unacceptable, so I am surprised she seems to be dismissing this kind of behaviour as immaturity, especially as it is becoming repeated behaviour.

Thank you all, appreciate your replies and will speak with the school Monday.

I agree with this. It's safeguarding and should not be minimised. You need reassurances that things are happening to safeguard your child from these assaults (e.g. increased supervision around these children, education around bullying...) You do not need to no know the details obviously but it's reasonable that you would want to discuss these incidents with the Head and DSL. The governors should be made aware of incidents of this nature too.

This is awful.

Read through the schools complaint procedure it will be on the website and if you’re unhappy with the response then don’t be afraid to say that you’re esculating this to a formal complaint.

I am pretty sure a suspension for the boys involved would solve the immaturity issue and make sure it never happens again.
Pulling down someone’s trousers and underwear in public is sexual assault, no matter the age. Physically restraining someone is physical assault.
This is extreme bullying and extreme school response is to be warranted.

Sounds like the school isn't well staffed if things like that happen in the dinner queue. They should be on top of things.

Yes, children in Y1 are pretty immature and they are still working on boundaries, that's to be expected. Pulling pants down is way over the line of what is to be expected though, once I'd be upset but twice I'd be very unhappy. I'd be escalating to the head.

I'd also chat to your son so he knows what to do in this or similar situations - tell he he's allowed to shout as loud as he can and who he should be telling.